Just like the New Year is a symbolic opportunity for us to start over, every time we are on the mat, we have this same symbolic opportunity.
Each time we lie down on our mat to practice three part breathing, or stand at the front of our mat to begin a sun salutation, it is our job as yogis to be present to the moment and have a beginner's mind. This means that we forget how easy it was to get up off the floor yesterday, what our backbend looked like before we gained those holiday pounds or what we felt like five years ago when we practiced every day. This is also the gift we are given every time we finish Savasana (resting pose) and we roll onto our side and curl up into a fetal position before we sit up. We start like we are brand new, watching all the compelling thoughts arise about the past without jumping in to investigate, without judgement and without expectation. For some of us, its daunting to start fresh without judgement and without expectations. It can be daunting Some of us don't want to be beginner's, some of us want to be advanced super-duper experts. What about everything I already know, what about all that practice and what's in it for me to be a beginner?
Being a beginner means we are having new insights, we continue to learn and even more importantly, we are open to experiencing fresh, raw, new moments. Being a beginner means we hear with new ears, we see with new eyes, we feel with a new heart. As a beginner, we no longer feel like we live in the GroundHog Day movie. It's risky isn't it? To be vulnerable and start over and function as a beginner. As my health coach often says to me, practicing and showing up takes courage (see her wise words at www.megworden.com). In my mind, this applies to showing up for my practice and just showing up in general. Maybe 2014 can be the year to start over again and again and again.
Ami
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Yoga and Starting Over
Yoga and the Kool-Aid
When I first met my husband Vince he had an old, red jeep Cherokee and it proudly sported a bumper sticker that said, “question authority.” Just the sight of it made me queasy. It’s not that I have always been a rule follower,- I mean, a few times I have broken rules - but lately I have gotten into a pattern of walking the ‘party line’ with a blindfold on and a fuzzy warm hat covering my ears. It’s cozy in this little place of not questioning anything or anyone. It is definitely easier than following the advice of the bumper sticker. As you can see, it is still haunting me.
The bumper sticker could have said, “don’t drink the Kool-Aid.” Ohhh, the Kool-Aid. This of course is referring to the 1978 Rev. Jim Jones massacre. Just for the record, I like Kool-Aid - especially the grape kind (for the sake of this article, let’s go with purple, not red Kool-Aid…there was an incident with me vomiting a large quantity of red Kool-Aid as a teen-ager). Grape Kool-Aid is sweet, smooth, easy and simple. It requires no thinking…it’s formulaic. Follow the directions, don’t vary, add water and…magic! Lately, I’ve been thinking about whether or not I’m drinking Kool-Aid. Since I’ve been thinking about it, I’ve noticed that Kool-Aid drinking is everywhere. Kool-Aid sipping or slurping is found in relationships, work, religious beliefs/spiritual practice, and yes, even our yoga asana (posture) practice.
So, let’s start with our relationships. These could be in relationships with people at work, our partner, our boyfriend/girlfriend, professional helpers in our lives, or people in our family. I have this habit of putting people on a pedestal, thinking they are rock stars, without flaws, better than me and/or they know me better than I know myself. I recently said to Vince about a particular relationship, “I think I have been drinking the Kool-Aid for so long that I have convinced myself she is a different person than she actually is in my own experience.” This is a boatload of trouble for a variety of reasons. One of the main reasons it’s trouble for me is because once I stop drinking the “they are better than, different than they really are, or better than everyone else Kool-Aid” I am seemingly unable to metaphorically pick my relationship up off the floor, smashed underneath the rubble of my own illusions. Once the blinders come off and I realize they are human, with flaws and warts, a personality and their own bag of trouble, I’m devastated. It’s possible I want so desperately for someone else to jump in and tell me how to live my life or I want so badly for someone to be a better human than they are, that I drink as if I have been in a desert for a very long time. Kool-Aid drunkenness is unfair to everyone involved.
At work, the Kool-Aid discourages critical thinking because it’s easier than questioning someone in a position of power, or questioning rules or decisions that have historically been accepted. It’s not that the Kool-Aid hasn’t tasted great in the past or that it never has value, but without questioning and thinking for ourselves, how do we navigate the screaming voice of our intuition and how do we continue to grow? I’m not sure, but the Kool-Aid might stunt our growth.
I was recently talking with a friend about how our religious and spiritual beliefs can be so hard to question. It’s so much easier to blindly believe in what someone in a position of power tells us to believe. I am not saying believing is bad; I’m saying believing without questioning might ultimately turn off the voice inside our heart that has something worth hearing. It’s scary to stop drinking. What if we listen ‘and obey’ something or someone that leaves us feeling ashamed? What if what the Kool-Aid tells us is the opposite of our experience, or the opposite of what the whispering voice of intuition is saying? Who do we want to listen to? The incongruity of our experience and the smooth-talking Kool-Aid is enough to make a girl sick to her stomach.
This Kool-Aid drinking also happens on the yoga mat. I was recently talking with someone who is a dedicated yogi. She has been practicing for about five years and through those years has had a variety of physical difficulties come up. After she began listening more closely to her body, she realized she had been drinking some wacky Kool-Aid, forcing a style of practice that was just not right for her body. This Kool-Aid could be unknowingly poured into our glass through the media, the yoga magazine with a Gumby-like model on the cover, through other students or teachers (hopefully not teachers at Ahh Yoga). It’s possible we aren’t even sure when its being poured, or who’s pouring it. Kool-Aid can make everything cloudy.
The top ten ways to know you are drinking too much Kool-Aid (not all Kool-Aid is bad, it just must be part of a balanced diet):
1. Messages from the body
2. Messages from your mood
3. You have stopped asking questions
4. You have stopped thinking critically
5. You don’t feel like yourself
6. You are making decisions that you know don’t feel right or are out of character
7. You believe everyone knows better, knows you better than you know yourself; you’ve stopped trusting yourself
8. You are forcing something and it takes a lot of effort
9. You are filled with a sense of dread
10. You are peeing purple
Although we sometimes might forget, the body is constantly giving us guidance. This guidance may come as a fluttering feeling in our tummy, a headache, a sore back, a tight neck, or a recurring injury. We have to really pay attention to notice some of the subtle messages that are coming through the body. The Kool-Aid could be causing us to bite our nails, eat doughnuts for dinner, sleep too much, or lose our appetite. This is exactly where our yoga practice can come in and give us time to reflect and tune into our life and our body. As Mary Oliver says in her beautiful poem,“What are you going to do with your one wild and precious life?” I don’t know the answer to this and I don’t believe you have the answer for me; however, I do know I’m going to cut back on my purple Kool-Aid habit.
By the way, if you are experiencing number ten, you should definitely seek medical attention.
Also, in an effort to avoid being sued by Kool-Aid, please know I’m using this metaphorically and am in not in any way saying Kool-Aid is bad for you. Wink, wink.
Swimming Upstream
I was lying on my back during the visualization exercise. The teacher we brought in from Detroit had the "yoga teacher" voice; you know, the calm, quiet, melodious voice. I had just eaten a yummy lunch at Little Saigon and I was mildly distracted by the Thom Kha soup that was hanging around AND my feet were cold. My feet being cold resulted in me coveting my friend’s toe socks. Eating before practice and coveting your neighbor are discouraged in yoga world. However, I had been hungry and my feet were cold!
So, I returned to listening to the melodious voice of the teacher and I heard her say something about imagining the body floating on a calm river. I immediately discuss (that is, had a discussion between the voices in my head) how ridiculous this is and how I don't want to float in a river and how this is so NOT relaxing and then I jumped into how airy fairy all of this can become and BOOM! Suddenly, I have the thought "you are spending your life swimming upstream." Out of nowhere, I have a vivid (too vivid) mental picture of me in a one-piece swimsuit (not looking so hot), rather frazzled, out of breath, struggling and exhausted. Let's just say it is a good thing I was lying down. It's just that kind of vision that will knock a girl off her feet.
After this momentary recognition, I settled into my body and relaxed – I didn’t unravel - just let loose a bit. Without recognizing it, I stopped swimming up stream and began floating on the proverbial river.
This teacher, Nancy McCochan, said during the weekend workshop that our yoga practice is an opportunity to recognize our habits on and off our yoga mat. The visualization practice not only gave my body time to digest my lunch, but it gave me the opportunity to reflect on how often I swim upstream. In my life this looks like trying too hard to fit in, caring too much about the opinion of other people (one of my mentors says what people think of me is none of my business), and resisting the reality of each moment - all a recipe for a frazzled-swimming-upstream-kind-of-life.
Asana practice (the practice of physical yoga postures; pronounced like ahh-suh-nuh) was originally developed to help prepare the body to sit in meditation. It stretches and strengthens and helps cultivate a focused mind. For most of us, it does more. On that particular Saturday, it opened the door for me to recognize how I often functioned in the world; and, in my case, recognizing I was swimming upstream.
Here's to floating downstream in 2013!
Treat Every Day like it's Monday?
I have been recently listening to this recording called the "Joyous Body" by Dr. Clarissa Estes. The main premise of this talk is thinking about our body as our "consort." I’m not sure about you, but generally, I’m not thinking of this body as a chum or partner that I love and cherish. In fact, more often I am picking it apart, being judgemental, and overall wishing for things to be different.
She describes treating the consort as a lover that is always by your side, accompanying you through your life, storing memories of cherished moments and, well, all the moments of this life. Hmm...not exactly how I had been thinking of it. So, would you give your lover a doughnut if she were thirsty? Would you put trashy food in your lover to provide energy? Would you want your lover to never move her limbs, to be in a state of couchy-potato-ness? Would you tell your cherished lover to skip their practice and watch Dr. Oz instead?
Dr. Estes goes on to talk about the Monday pattern. The “hey, I”ll start eating better Monday”, or the “I know I’m lactose intolerant so I’ll start eliminating it on Monday” , or “I realize I feel icky when I eat wheat so I’ll stop on Monday”, the “I’ll add more greens to my diet on Monday”, the “I’ll stop eating greasy French fries on Monday” or, wait for it.....”I’ll start getting on my yoga mat on Monday.” She encourages the listener to treat every single day like it’s Monday. Every day is the day we take care of the body. Not so that the body will run forever, but so the body works as best it can. To quote Rumi, “this body is a guesthouse.” It’s a guest house for our soul. Where do you want your soul to stay? The Motel Six or the Ritz? So, our body is our consort and every day is Monday. I didn’t have to wait till Monday to be hit like a ton of bricks and pack up from the one star hotel.
Shortly after listening to this talk by Dr. Estes, a very dear friend of ours neared the end of her six-year battle with Multiple Myeloma. She had this knack for not complaining about the pain, the chemo, the radiation, the weakness, the change in her daily life. She was an every-day-is-Monday kind of person. As I spent moments with her during this last week it was crystal clear that her consort was with her. Her body was doing it’s best to serve her like the Love that wouldn’t leave her. It no longer mattered how she felt in a swimsuit, or that she needed a cane, that she never lost those pounds she talked about, that she wished her hair was easier to style; nor did it matter that she had nice clothes and cool jewelry, art work from around the world or a pedicure.
The consort was finishing it’s time on this earth and she, as we knew her, was leaving as well. There’s no vanity at the end. With our friend, it was courage and grace, moments of laughing and humming and a few minutes of reminiscing about all of the amazing moments she gave us. It was the guesthouse giving us the opportunity to spend more moments honoring one of the best guests that ever touched our lives. In the end - the literal end - of her journey with the consort, what mattered was that her amazing spirit had 63 years to touch the lives of those around her. As she left the guesthouse, her children, daughter-in-law, husband, and five friends held our hands on her body, stroked her hair, and whispered love into her ears. She lived every day as Monday and now I’m gonna' do my best to do the same.
Dr. Estes goes on to talk about the Monday pattern. The “hey, I”ll start eating better Monday”, or the “I know I’m lactose intolerant so I’ll start eliminating it on Monday” , or “I realize I feel icky when I eat wheat so I’ll stop on Monday”, the “I’ll add more greens to my diet on Monday”, the “I’ll stop eating greasy French fries on Monday” or, wait for it.....”I’ll start getting on my yoga mat on Monday.” She encourages the listener to treat every single day like it’s Monday. Every day is the day we take care of the body. Not so that the body will run forever, but so the body works as best it can. To quote Rumi, “this body is a guesthouse.” It’s a guest house for our soul. Where do you want your soul to stay? The Motel Six or the Ritz? So, our body is our consort and every day is Monday. I didn’t have to wait till Monday to be hit like a ton of bricks and pack up from the one star hotel.
Shortly after listening to this talk by Dr. Estes, a very dear friend of ours neared the end of her six-year battle with Multiple Myeloma. She had this knack for not complaining about the pain, the chemo, the radiation, the weakness, the change in her daily life. She was an every-day-is-Monday kind of person. As I spent moments with her during this last week it was crystal clear that her consort was with her. Her body was doing it’s best to serve her like the Love that wouldn’t leave her. It no longer mattered how she felt in a swimsuit, or that she needed a cane, that she never lost those pounds she talked about, that she wished her hair was easier to style; nor did it matter that she had nice clothes and cool jewelry, art work from around the world or a pedicure.
The consort was finishing it’s time on this earth and she, as we knew her, was leaving as well. There’s no vanity at the end. With our friend, it was courage and grace, moments of laughing and humming and a few minutes of reminiscing about all of the amazing moments she gave us. It was the guesthouse giving us the opportunity to spend more moments honoring one of the best guests that ever touched our lives. In the end - the literal end - of her journey with the consort, what mattered was that her amazing spirit had 63 years to touch the lives of those around her. As she left the guesthouse, her children, daughter-in-law, husband, and five friends held our hands on her body, stroked her hair, and whispered love into her ears. She lived every day as Monday and now I’m gonna' do my best to do the same.
*&(^*&^ We say & do...
I have not read the book “Stupid **** My Dad Says”, however, I have spent some time laughing at the YouTube videos about **** Yoga teachers say, ****Vegetarians say, and ****yogis say. I realize that I can have a crass sense of humor and I do enjoy sarcasm. In other words, you should stop reading here if my edginess is bothersome.
These YouTube videos poke fun at how seriously we all take ourselves. I like this sort of message. It’s NOT saying yoga isn’t serious; it’s pointing fingers at how seriously we all take ourselves about yoga (you could replace the word yoga here with vegetarianism, volleyball, financial planning, parenting, etc.). It’s poking fun at the fact that there are $100 yoga pants supposed to make our butt look better, there are these new shoes that have hit the yoga world by storm called TOMS, eco-friendly mats that cost a small fortune, granola bars called Yogi bars, the fact that so many yogis order water without ice so their Agni will stay fired up yet eat a giant bowl of ice cream for dessert, vegetarians connected to the vow of ahimsa (non-violence) and yet vote in a way that supports violence. BTW, did you know the latest count of casualties in Syria is nearly 8000 people? I won’t even get into how, when a group of yogis are together in a social setting, we might be tossing back a cold one as we talk about ridding the toxins in our bodies, bowel movements and food. These contradictory messages are everywhere in the yoga world. Most recently, they have been in the news because a well-known international teacher has fallen from grace and a giant yoga competition was held showing off the master of physical postures. It’s a yoga contest!!
So, if I wear $100 yoga pants and TOMS shoes, practice on an eco-friendly mat, eat Yogi bars, never have an iced drink, am vegan, vote to support non-violence and avoid yoga competitions am I going to be happier? More content? Will doing those things lead me to a life of non-attachment, reduced suffering and love? Is it going to mean that I am selfless and not attached to outcomes? Is it going to mean that I won’t care if people like me or if people think I’m a good yoga teacher, or a good boss at work, or a good wife? What’s the point again? What’s the point of yoga? What’s the point of life? Could someone please remind me?
I have recently been reading a new translation of the Bhagavad Gita entitled “The Bhagavad Gita, A Walkthrough for Westerners.” I have read other translations of this sacred text and this seems to be the most accessible of them all. This is a text that has multiple messages, however the one that is currently ringing through loud and clear for me is when the book is attempting to clearly spell out the point of everything; here, the teacher is speaking to the student:
“The point, old friend - and this is very important - is to do your worldly duty, but do it without any attachment to it or desire for its fruits. Keep your mind always on the Divinity. Make it as automatic as your breath or heartbeat. This is the way to reach the supreme goal, which is to merge into God.”
What? I thought the point was that the roof needs paid for and the studio needs to stay financially solvent and I need to show up to work and I should speak respectfully to my boss and remember to buy toilet paper and walk the dog and clean the basement in case I need to hole up down there during a storm. In this message from Arjuna’s teacher, I think he is basically saying “yeah, yeah, yeah, do that kind of stuff AND remember it’s not the point; the point of life is our connection with something bigger than our little pea brain and our earthly tasks and troubles.”
In some ways, I find this to be a relief because, geez, the toilet paper shopping isn’t that fulfilling and I am really hoping a good-looking butt is not The Point.
I’m wondering, if the point is to keep my mind on Divinity… does that means I can’t have snarky thoughts, or can’t be irritated, or I can’t cuss like a sailor when I want to and I can’t eat toxic foods and I can’t share my frustrations about a co-worker and I can’t hang out in the bar at the airport, I can’t listen to Hip Hop and I can’t despise when people act fake, and the list goes on and on. Seriously, if that’s the point, I’m afraid there isn’t enough money in the world to support the kind of therapy I’m going to need.
Arjuna’s teacher does say “Work performed with anxiety about results is far inferior to work done in a state of calmness. Equanimity - the serene mental state free from likes and dislikes, attractions and repulsions - is truly the ideal attitude with which to live your life.”
But, hey, wait! I like rad yoga pants and I feel better when I wear them and I feel good about not having ice in my water and I like being a vegetarian. I like the way I vote and toilet paper is necessary in my household; it makes life nicer. So now what? What would Arjuna’s teacher say about all of this? I am going to guess Arjuna’s teacher would say, ‘fine - get the pants, use the toilet paper, drink without ice in your water and eat whatever suits you.’ However, I believe he would finish the sentence with, ‘…and don’t take any of it too seriously and understand that none of that ultimately matters, because the point is union with God, and if you aren’t careful, you will forget the point because of the shiny nature of those new Toms shoes you are wearing.’
These YouTube videos poke fun at how seriously we all take ourselves. I like this sort of message. It’s NOT saying yoga isn’t serious; it’s pointing fingers at how seriously we all take ourselves about yoga (you could replace the word yoga here with vegetarianism, volleyball, financial planning, parenting, etc.). It’s poking fun at the fact that there are $100 yoga pants supposed to make our butt look better, there are these new shoes that have hit the yoga world by storm called TOMS, eco-friendly mats that cost a small fortune, granola bars called Yogi bars, the fact that so many yogis order water without ice so their Agni will stay fired up yet eat a giant bowl of ice cream for dessert, vegetarians connected to the vow of ahimsa (non-violence) and yet vote in a way that supports violence. BTW, did you know the latest count of casualties in Syria is nearly 8000 people? I won’t even get into how, when a group of yogis are together in a social setting, we might be tossing back a cold one as we talk about ridding the toxins in our bodies, bowel movements and food. These contradictory messages are everywhere in the yoga world. Most recently, they have been in the news because a well-known international teacher has fallen from grace and a giant yoga competition was held showing off the master of physical postures. It’s a yoga contest!!
So, if I wear $100 yoga pants and TOMS shoes, practice on an eco-friendly mat, eat Yogi bars, never have an iced drink, am vegan, vote to support non-violence and avoid yoga competitions am I going to be happier? More content? Will doing those things lead me to a life of non-attachment, reduced suffering and love? Is it going to mean that I am selfless and not attached to outcomes? Is it going to mean that I won’t care if people like me or if people think I’m a good yoga teacher, or a good boss at work, or a good wife? What’s the point again? What’s the point of yoga? What’s the point of life? Could someone please remind me?
I have recently been reading a new translation of the Bhagavad Gita entitled “The Bhagavad Gita, A Walkthrough for Westerners.” I have read other translations of this sacred text and this seems to be the most accessible of them all. This is a text that has multiple messages, however the one that is currently ringing through loud and clear for me is when the book is attempting to clearly spell out the point of everything; here, the teacher is speaking to the student:
“The point, old friend - and this is very important - is to do your worldly duty, but do it without any attachment to it or desire for its fruits. Keep your mind always on the Divinity. Make it as automatic as your breath or heartbeat. This is the way to reach the supreme goal, which is to merge into God.”
What? I thought the point was that the roof needs paid for and the studio needs to stay financially solvent and I need to show up to work and I should speak respectfully to my boss and remember to buy toilet paper and walk the dog and clean the basement in case I need to hole up down there during a storm. In this message from Arjuna’s teacher, I think he is basically saying “yeah, yeah, yeah, do that kind of stuff AND remember it’s not the point; the point of life is our connection with something bigger than our little pea brain and our earthly tasks and troubles.”
In some ways, I find this to be a relief because, geez, the toilet paper shopping isn’t that fulfilling and I am really hoping a good-looking butt is not The Point.
I’m wondering, if the point is to keep my mind on Divinity… does that means I can’t have snarky thoughts, or can’t be irritated, or I can’t cuss like a sailor when I want to and I can’t eat toxic foods and I can’t share my frustrations about a co-worker and I can’t hang out in the bar at the airport, I can’t listen to Hip Hop and I can’t despise when people act fake, and the list goes on and on. Seriously, if that’s the point, I’m afraid there isn’t enough money in the world to support the kind of therapy I’m going to need.
Arjuna’s teacher does say “Work performed with anxiety about results is far inferior to work done in a state of calmness. Equanimity - the serene mental state free from likes and dislikes, attractions and repulsions - is truly the ideal attitude with which to live your life.”
But, hey, wait! I like rad yoga pants and I feel better when I wear them and I feel good about not having ice in my water and I like being a vegetarian. I like the way I vote and toilet paper is necessary in my household; it makes life nicer. So now what? What would Arjuna’s teacher say about all of this? I am going to guess Arjuna’s teacher would say, ‘fine - get the pants, use the toilet paper, drink without ice in your water and eat whatever suits you.’ However, I believe he would finish the sentence with, ‘…and don’t take any of it too seriously and understand that none of that ultimately matters, because the point is union with God, and if you aren’t careful, you will forget the point because of the shiny nature of those new Toms shoes you are wearing.’
*&(^*&^ We say & do...
I have not read the book “Stupid **** My Dad Says”, however, I have spent some time laughing at the YouTube videos about **** Yoga teachers say, ****Vegetarians say, and ****yogis say. I realize that I can have a crass sense of humor and I do enjoy sarcasm. In other words, you should stop reading here if my edginess is bothersome.
These YouTube videos poke fun at how seriously we all take ourselves. I like this sort of message. It’s NOT saying yoga isn’t serious; it’s pointing fingers at how seriously we all take ourselves about yoga (you could replace the word yoga here with vegetarianism, volleyball, financial planning, parenting, etc.). It’s poking fun at the fact that there are $100 yoga pants supposed to make our butt look better, there are these new shoes that have hit the yoga world by storm called TOMS, eco-friendly mats that cost a small fortune, granola bars called Yogi bars, the fact that so many yogis order water without ice so their Agni will stay fired up yet eat a giant bowl of ice cream for dessert, vegetarians connected to the vow of ahimsa (non-violence) and yet vote in a way that supports violence. BTW, did you know the latest count of casualties in Syria is _______. I won’t even get into how, when a group of yogis are together in a social setting, we might be tossing back a cold one as we talk about ridding the toxins in our bodies, bowel movements and food. These contradictory messages are everywhere in the yoga world. Most recently, they have been in the news because a well-known international teacher has fallen from grace and a giant yoga competition was held showing off the master of physical postures. It’s a yoga contest!!
So, if I wear $100 yoga pants and TOMS shoes, practice on an eco-friendly mat, eat Yogi bars, never have an iced drink, am vegan, vote to support non-violence and avoid yoga competitions am I going to be happier? More content? Will doing those things lead me to a life of non-attachment, reduced suffering and love? Is it going to mean that I am selfless and not attached to outcomes? Is it going to mean that I won’t care if people like me or if people think I’m a good yoga teacher, or a good boss at work, or a good wife? What’s the point again? What’s the point of yoga? What’s the point of life? Could someone please remind me?
I have recently been reading a new translation of the Bhagavad Gita entitled “The Bhagavad Gita, A Walkthrough for Westerners.” I have read other translations of this sacred text and this seems to be the most accessible of them all. This is a text that has multiple messages, however the one that is currently ringing through loud and clear for me is when the book is attempting to clearly spell out the point of everything; here, the teacher is speaking to the student:
“The point, old friend - and this is very important - is to do your worldly duty, but do it without any attachment to it or desire for its fruits. Keep your mind always on the Divinity. Make it as automatic as your breath or heartbeat. This is the way to reach the supreme goal, which is to merge into God.”
What? I thought the point was that the roof needs paid for and the studio needs to stay financially solvent and I need to show up to work and I should speak respectfully to my boss and remember to buy toilet paper and walk the dog and clean the basement in case I need to hole up down there during a storm. In this message from Arjuna’s teacher, I think he is basically saying “yeah, yeah, yeah, do that kind of stuff AND remember it’s not the point; the point of life is our connection with something bigger than our little pea brain and our earthly tasks and troubles.”
In some ways, I find this to be a relief because, geez, the toilet paper shopping isn’t that fulfilling and I am really hoping a good-looking butt is not The Point.
I’m wondering, if the point is to keep my mind on Divinity… does that means I can’t have snarky thoughts, or can’t be irritated, or I can’t cuss like a sailor when I want to and I can’t eat toxic foods and I can’t share my frustrations about a co-worker and I can’t hang out in the bar at the airport, I can’t listen to Hip Hop and I can’t despise when people act fake, and the list goes on and on. Seriously, if that’s the point, I’m afraid there isn’t enough money in the world to support the kind of therapy I’m going to need.
Arjuna’s teacher does say “Work performed with anxiety about results is far inferior to work done in a state of calmness. Equanimity - the serene mental state free from likes and dislikes, attractions and repulsions - is truly the ideal attitude with which to live your life.”
But, hey, wait! I like rad yoga pants and I feel better when I wear them and I feel good about not having ice in my water and I like being a vegetarian. I like the way I vote and toilet paper is necessary in my household; it makes life nicer. So now what? What would Arjuna’s teacher say about all of this? I am going to guess Arjuna’s teacher would say, ‘fine - get the pants, use the toilet paper, drink without ice in your water and eat whatever suits you.’ However, I believe he would finish the sentence with, ‘…and don’t take any of it too seriously and understand that none of that ultimately matters, because the point is union with God, and if you aren’t careful, you will forget the point because of the shiny nature of those new Toms shoes you are wearing.’
These YouTube videos poke fun at how seriously we all take ourselves. I like this sort of message. It’s NOT saying yoga isn’t serious; it’s pointing fingers at how seriously we all take ourselves about yoga (you could replace the word yoga here with vegetarianism, volleyball, financial planning, parenting, etc.). It’s poking fun at the fact that there are $100 yoga pants supposed to make our butt look better, there are these new shoes that have hit the yoga world by storm called TOMS, eco-friendly mats that cost a small fortune, granola bars called Yogi bars, the fact that so many yogis order water without ice so their Agni will stay fired up yet eat a giant bowl of ice cream for dessert, vegetarians connected to the vow of ahimsa (non-violence) and yet vote in a way that supports violence. BTW, did you know the latest count of casualties in Syria is _______. I won’t even get into how, when a group of yogis are together in a social setting, we might be tossing back a cold one as we talk about ridding the toxins in our bodies, bowel movements and food. These contradictory messages are everywhere in the yoga world. Most recently, they have been in the news because a well-known international teacher has fallen from grace and a giant yoga competition was held showing off the master of physical postures. It’s a yoga contest!!
So, if I wear $100 yoga pants and TOMS shoes, practice on an eco-friendly mat, eat Yogi bars, never have an iced drink, am vegan, vote to support non-violence and avoid yoga competitions am I going to be happier? More content? Will doing those things lead me to a life of non-attachment, reduced suffering and love? Is it going to mean that I am selfless and not attached to outcomes? Is it going to mean that I won’t care if people like me or if people think I’m a good yoga teacher, or a good boss at work, or a good wife? What’s the point again? What’s the point of yoga? What’s the point of life? Could someone please remind me?
I have recently been reading a new translation of the Bhagavad Gita entitled “The Bhagavad Gita, A Walkthrough for Westerners.” I have read other translations of this sacred text and this seems to be the most accessible of them all. This is a text that has multiple messages, however the one that is currently ringing through loud and clear for me is when the book is attempting to clearly spell out the point of everything; here, the teacher is speaking to the student:
“The point, old friend - and this is very important - is to do your worldly duty, but do it without any attachment to it or desire for its fruits. Keep your mind always on the Divinity. Make it as automatic as your breath or heartbeat. This is the way to reach the supreme goal, which is to merge into God.”
What? I thought the point was that the roof needs paid for and the studio needs to stay financially solvent and I need to show up to work and I should speak respectfully to my boss and remember to buy toilet paper and walk the dog and clean the basement in case I need to hole up down there during a storm. In this message from Arjuna’s teacher, I think he is basically saying “yeah, yeah, yeah, do that kind of stuff AND remember it’s not the point; the point of life is our connection with something bigger than our little pea brain and our earthly tasks and troubles.”
In some ways, I find this to be a relief because, geez, the toilet paper shopping isn’t that fulfilling and I am really hoping a good-looking butt is not The Point.
I’m wondering, if the point is to keep my mind on Divinity… does that means I can’t have snarky thoughts, or can’t be irritated, or I can’t cuss like a sailor when I want to and I can’t eat toxic foods and I can’t share my frustrations about a co-worker and I can’t hang out in the bar at the airport, I can’t listen to Hip Hop and I can’t despise when people act fake, and the list goes on and on. Seriously, if that’s the point, I’m afraid there isn’t enough money in the world to support the kind of therapy I’m going to need.
Arjuna’s teacher does say “Work performed with anxiety about results is far inferior to work done in a state of calmness. Equanimity - the serene mental state free from likes and dislikes, attractions and repulsions - is truly the ideal attitude with which to live your life.”
But, hey, wait! I like rad yoga pants and I feel better when I wear them and I feel good about not having ice in my water and I like being a vegetarian. I like the way I vote and toilet paper is necessary in my household; it makes life nicer. So now what? What would Arjuna’s teacher say about all of this? I am going to guess Arjuna’s teacher would say, ‘fine - get the pants, use the toilet paper, drink without ice in your water and eat whatever suits you.’ However, I believe he would finish the sentence with, ‘…and don’t take any of it too seriously and understand that none of that ultimately matters, because the point is union with God, and if you aren’t careful, you will forget the point because of the shiny nature of those new Toms shoes you are wearing.’
Shiny Red Shoes & Contentment
I sometimes like to read a chapter in the book Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes before I go to bed. It inevitably leads to fascinating dreams. So, this past week I read the myth of the girl and the red shoes.
The young woman in the story is poor and living alone in the forest without shoes (and obviously no yoga mat). She figures out a way to piece together enough material to create a pair of red cloth shoes. She is very content with these shoes, in fact, she was happy with them. One day she was out walking in a forest (forests are always involved) and an elderly lady came up in a beautiful carriage (carriages are also always involved) and offered to support and care for her. The woman with the red shoes accepted the invitation.
Shortly after her arrival, the elderly lady got rid of the red shoes. The young woman was devastated., feeling as though she had lost a piece of herself. A variety of events followed, including the young woman getting and wearing a pair of shiny red shoes (all against the wishes of the elderly lady and of the other community members). The young woman was so fascinated with these shiny new shoes she thought about them all the time. She was forbidden to wear the red shoes and they were hidden away.
Eventually, she found a way to get the red shoes and put them on her feet. To her dismay, the red shoes began to dance her around. She lost control to the shoes and she couldn't stop dancing. This dancing went on for so long she couldn't stand it anymore. Her only option was to get her feet cut off. No kidding. Off they went.
I'll spare you the details of my dream the night I read the story and we don't have time to go into the symbolism around standing on your own two feet, of independence, women's issues, etc. However, those stinkin red shoes have been on my mind every since reading the myth.
You may or may not know in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, contentment is one of the five principles leading to a happier existence. In Sanskrit the word for contentment is Santosha. Just in case your curious, the other four principles are purity, self-discipline, self-study and devotion to some presence bigger than yourself. I'm not sure when shiny red shoes were first invented, but I'm guessing it was after the compilation of the 196 aphorisms that make up the Sutras.
How often are we lured in by the proverbial shiny red shoes? What are the shiny red shoes in your life? Are your "shoes" a new house, a new job, a new partner, a more challenging yoga pose, a new body, a new feeling? Do we decide to be content? Aren't we suppose to always strive for bigger, better and get more, more, more? I think the girl without her feet would have been happier if she had stuck with the red cloth shoes.
Historically, yogis were schooled in philosophy before asana (postures). However, that mode of operation wouldn't likely work here in the west. In the west, we approach yoga from the physical first which inevitably leads to the philosophy or spiritual side of the practice. If we want to weave yoga philosophy into our lives on and off our mats, we could start to observe the principle of contentment. We could become more content with the pain that comes from "yoga butt' (an ouchy pain in the booty that is not that uncommon), or the extra ten pounds that might be inhibiting us from binding in a posture or the realization that no matter how many years we practice~ it is possible for some people to continue to feel like a 2x4 when they wake up in the morning.
In other words, we can be content with where we are right now & how we are right now. It's even possible to be content with change. May we all take a moment to reflect on our "red shoes."
The young woman in the story is poor and living alone in the forest without shoes (and obviously no yoga mat). She figures out a way to piece together enough material to create a pair of red cloth shoes. She is very content with these shoes, in fact, she was happy with them. One day she was out walking in a forest (forests are always involved) and an elderly lady came up in a beautiful carriage (carriages are also always involved) and offered to support and care for her. The woman with the red shoes accepted the invitation.
Shortly after her arrival, the elderly lady got rid of the red shoes. The young woman was devastated., feeling as though she had lost a piece of herself. A variety of events followed, including the young woman getting and wearing a pair of shiny red shoes (all against the wishes of the elderly lady and of the other community members). The young woman was so fascinated with these shiny new shoes she thought about them all the time. She was forbidden to wear the red shoes and they were hidden away.
Eventually, she found a way to get the red shoes and put them on her feet. To her dismay, the red shoes began to dance her around. She lost control to the shoes and she couldn't stop dancing. This dancing went on for so long she couldn't stand it anymore. Her only option was to get her feet cut off. No kidding. Off they went.
I'll spare you the details of my dream the night I read the story and we don't have time to go into the symbolism around standing on your own two feet, of independence, women's issues, etc. However, those stinkin red shoes have been on my mind every since reading the myth.
You may or may not know in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, contentment is one of the five principles leading to a happier existence. In Sanskrit the word for contentment is Santosha. Just in case your curious, the other four principles are purity, self-discipline, self-study and devotion to some presence bigger than yourself. I'm not sure when shiny red shoes were first invented, but I'm guessing it was after the compilation of the 196 aphorisms that make up the Sutras.
How often are we lured in by the proverbial shiny red shoes? What are the shiny red shoes in your life? Are your "shoes" a new house, a new job, a new partner, a more challenging yoga pose, a new body, a new feeling? Do we decide to be content? Aren't we suppose to always strive for bigger, better and get more, more, more? I think the girl without her feet would have been happier if she had stuck with the red cloth shoes.
Historically, yogis were schooled in philosophy before asana (postures). However, that mode of operation wouldn't likely work here in the west. In the west, we approach yoga from the physical first which inevitably leads to the philosophy or spiritual side of the practice. If we want to weave yoga philosophy into our lives on and off our mats, we could start to observe the principle of contentment. We could become more content with the pain that comes from "yoga butt' (an ouchy pain in the booty that is not that uncommon), or the extra ten pounds that might be inhibiting us from binding in a posture or the realization that no matter how many years we practice~ it is possible for some people to continue to feel like a 2x4 when they wake up in the morning.
In other words, we can be content with where we are right now & how we are right now. It's even possible to be content with change. May we all take a moment to reflect on our "red shoes."
Choose This NOT That
A week or so ago, Vince and I were visiting my parents in sunny, hot Arizona. I took my mat in hope of having the opportunity to find a class or just spend some time to practice when not sleeping in or relaxing at the pool. I was fortunate enough to find a class that fit in our pool schedule. We started on our backs with eyes closed. The teacher said "today allow yourself to focus on what feels good & focus on what you are able to do in your practice. You get to choose where your attention goes." Ohhhh yeah, now I remember, I can choose to suffer or not suffer. Seems too good to be true.
Since that class I have been focusing my attention on choice. The examples of how this plays out are endless so I'll just throw out a few. Today, in the car with Vince I said "hey, I want to know if you think I should be offended by what so & so said to me Friday after the meeting." Then, wowza, I caught myself and began to laugh. Why would I choose to be offended? If i choose offended i will suffer (probably so would she) and if I choose not to suffer, we are both happy. Just last week I rolled out of bed at some obscene hour to get up and travel to an out of town meeting. As I was lying in bed I heard what apperared to be an owlebration (celebrating owls) in our front yard. Ohhh, choice between feeling sorry for myself that I had to get up and Vince got to sleep in or on how amazing it is that we have so many owls singing on our street. Last month, I tried a pair of pants on and they were a little snug (I'm being gentle on myself here) I could choose to focus on the snug or I could focus on how I have been doing better at getting some cardio in even amidst a pretty jampacked schedule. As I have been writing this I have the opportunity to choose whether to focus on the birds singing or I could focus on the hideous 1980's rock music blaring out of a neighbors garage. Is it starting to be obvious which is going to lead to suffering? That was an easy one...obvi the 1980's headbanger music is one definition of suffering.
This could come across as being about focusing on the positive. However, what I'm trying to convey here is that in each moment we get to decide where we are going to put our attention. Is it going to be on suffering or peace? Is it going to be on this? or on that?
You choose, I'm going to practice choosing this peace, not that suffering.
Ami
Add Love to the Task-List
It’s rainy and dreary and I’m working and getting ready to study for a class I’m taking. Although I swore to one of my favorite friends and co-workers (see pic) that I would stop saying I’m so behind….I’m sooooooooooooooooooooo behind. I spent some time last night trying to organize my life into a calendar and a task list. It looks very pretty. I’m guessing it won’t feel pretty. It’s the first time I have included yoga, meditation, exercise and writing into my daily task list. I put them each there, every day, some of them with a completion time of ten minutes.
I realize that years ago (maybe even now), people would have thought it was insane to need to schedule in your personal time. However, with my current schedule, I believe it’s this structure that will remind me minutes on my yoga mat count just as much as answering the 136 emails waiting to be returned in my inbox. There is a great line in one of the Mumford & Sons songs that says “where you put your love- is where you put your life.” I guess you could say I’m adding my love to the task list.
I hope you will join me and put something you love on your list.
Ami
Mantra for 2011: No-Self Help
If you have read any of my previous posts on new year's resolutions, you allready know I don't recommend them. This year I'm going to adopt a mantra (is that a resolution?). The mantra is no-self help.
I am going to use this mantra to stop focusing on what I don't do well, stop pushing myself to always get better at things I stink at and stop spending time trying to be something I am not.
I do alot of trainings for school people for my day job. I am typically the type of person who makes a point to glance at the evalutions for feedback. The feedback can be useful for changing or adapting something I'm doing and it can be really useful for beating up on myself. Typically, I try to make the review of the evals quick. I don't want people to think that I think too much of the feedback...that seems uncool in my world. After faking disinterest, I would read the evals and then ruminate over the ones that weren't glowing. There could be 50 outstanding evals and 1 not-so-great eval and I would put all of my focus on the one that is not-so-great.
I recently did a training for 45 people within the Quincy school district and sat down after the training to look at the evaluations. Since my new mantra is no-self help, I no longer have to believe I need to "get better" at not caring about people's feedback. So, I sat down and lingered over the information. Forty some excellents, a few goods and one fair. As mentioned above, historically, I put my focus on the yuck, or percieved yuck. ( What? good? one fair? Why not excellent? What could I have done differently, what didn't they like about me, what could I do tommorrow to......). Can you say exhausting? A person could lose alot of their life focusing on that 1%. Why on earth would a person focus on the 1% ick and not the 99% wonderful? Do we like feeling horrible?
I just started reading the book The 4 Hour Work Week ( a girl can dream). I interpreted some of what I read as a suggestion to stop spending time trying to get better at the stuff I'm not so good at and instead, focus on & grow what I am allready good at... WHAT? If I'm not spending my time trying to be better at certain parts of my job, better at organization, better at balancing out work and the rest of my life, better at writing thank you notes, better at eating a healthy diet when I am traveling for work, better at... The list could go on and on. If I stop trying to be better, won't my pants get to tight as I have milkshakes at every meal when I'm on the road and be content with the house being trashed and just give up on finding balance?
I think (please remember I just started the book) the author is suggesting if I drop all of the self-help and focus on my strengths, I will be happier and more satisfied. If I'm focusing on my strengths, experiencing that sense of contentment and peace then I believe I will naturally want to eat a healthy diet, keep my living space clean and organized and naturally find a place of balance between work and the rest of life. Instead of doing things because I believe I need to get better at them, I'm going to recognize what I am good at and let that guide me.
It could rock a person's world to think that we could drop the entire self-help movement. If this turns out to be accurate, I know a place where you can buy some self-help books at a very reduced price.
Here's to all of your wonderfulness-just as you are!
Ami
I am going to use this mantra to stop focusing on what I don't do well, stop pushing myself to always get better at things I stink at and stop spending time trying to be something I am not.
I do alot of trainings for school people for my day job. I am typically the type of person who makes a point to glance at the evalutions for feedback. The feedback can be useful for changing or adapting something I'm doing and it can be really useful for beating up on myself. Typically, I try to make the review of the evals quick. I don't want people to think that I think too much of the feedback...that seems uncool in my world. After faking disinterest, I would read the evals and then ruminate over the ones that weren't glowing. There could be 50 outstanding evals and 1 not-so-great eval and I would put all of my focus on the one that is not-so-great.
I recently did a training for 45 people within the Quincy school district and sat down after the training to look at the evaluations. Since my new mantra is no-self help, I no longer have to believe I need to "get better" at not caring about people's feedback. So, I sat down and lingered over the information. Forty some excellents, a few goods and one fair. As mentioned above, historically, I put my focus on the yuck, or percieved yuck. ( What? good? one fair? Why not excellent? What could I have done differently, what didn't they like about me, what could I do tommorrow to......). Can you say exhausting? A person could lose alot of their life focusing on that 1%. Why on earth would a person focus on the 1% ick and not the 99% wonderful? Do we like feeling horrible?
I just started reading the book The 4 Hour Work Week ( a girl can dream). I interpreted some of what I read as a suggestion to stop spending time trying to get better at the stuff I'm not so good at and instead, focus on & grow what I am allready good at... WHAT? If I'm not spending my time trying to be better at certain parts of my job, better at organization, better at balancing out work and the rest of my life, better at writing thank you notes, better at eating a healthy diet when I am traveling for work, better at... The list could go on and on. If I stop trying to be better, won't my pants get to tight as I have milkshakes at every meal when I'm on the road and be content with the house being trashed and just give up on finding balance?
I think (please remember I just started the book) the author is suggesting if I drop all of the self-help and focus on my strengths, I will be happier and more satisfied. If I'm focusing on my strengths, experiencing that sense of contentment and peace then I believe I will naturally want to eat a healthy diet, keep my living space clean and organized and naturally find a place of balance between work and the rest of life. Instead of doing things because I believe I need to get better at them, I'm going to recognize what I am good at and let that guide me.
It could rock a person's world to think that we could drop the entire self-help movement. If this turns out to be accurate, I know a place where you can buy some self-help books at a very reduced price.
Here's to all of your wonderfulness-just as you are!
Ami
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