I have not read the book “Stupid **** My Dad Says”, however, I have spent some time laughing at the YouTube videos about **** Yoga teachers say, ****Vegetarians say, and ****yogis say. I realize that I can have a crass sense of humor and I do enjoy sarcasm. In other words, you should stop reading here if my edginess is bothersome.
These YouTube videos poke fun at how seriously we all take ourselves. I like this sort of message. It’s NOT saying yoga isn’t serious; it’s pointing fingers at how seriously we all take ourselves about yoga (you could replace the word yoga here with vegetarianism, volleyball, financial planning, parenting, etc.). It’s poking fun at the fact that there are $100 yoga pants supposed to make our butt look better, there are these new shoes that have hit the yoga world by storm called TOMS, eco-friendly mats that cost a small fortune, granola bars called Yogi bars, the fact that so many yogis order water without ice so their Agni will stay fired up yet eat a giant bowl of ice cream for dessert, vegetarians connected to the vow of ahimsa (non-violence) and yet vote in a way that supports violence. BTW, did you know the latest count of casualties in Syria is nearly 8000 people? I won’t even get into how, when a group of yogis are together in a social setting, we might be tossing back a cold one as we talk about ridding the toxins in our bodies, bowel movements and food. These contradictory messages are everywhere in the yoga world. Most recently, they have been in the news because a well-known international teacher has fallen from grace and a giant yoga competition was held showing off the master of physical postures. It’s a yoga contest!!
So, if I wear $100 yoga pants and TOMS shoes, practice on an eco-friendly mat, eat Yogi bars, never have an iced drink, am vegan, vote to support non-violence and avoid yoga competitions am I going to be happier? More content? Will doing those things lead me to a life of non-attachment, reduced suffering and love? Is it going to mean that I am selfless and not attached to outcomes? Is it going to mean that I won’t care if people like me or if people think I’m a good yoga teacher, or a good boss at work, or a good wife? What’s the point again? What’s the point of yoga? What’s the point of life? Could someone please remind me?
I have recently been reading a new translation of the Bhagavad Gita entitled “The Bhagavad Gita, A Walkthrough for Westerners.” I have read other translations of this sacred text and this seems to be the most accessible of them all. This is a text that has multiple messages, however the one that is currently ringing through loud and clear for me is when the book is attempting to clearly spell out the point of everything; here, the teacher is speaking to the student:
“The point, old friend - and this is very important - is to do your worldly duty, but do it without any attachment to it or desire for its fruits. Keep your mind always on the Divinity. Make it as automatic as your breath or heartbeat. This is the way to reach the supreme goal, which is to merge into God.”
What? I thought the point was that the roof needs paid for and the studio needs to stay financially solvent and I need to show up to work and I should speak respectfully to my boss and remember to buy toilet paper and walk the dog and clean the basement in case I need to hole up down there during a storm. In this message from Arjuna’s teacher, I think he is basically saying “yeah, yeah, yeah, do that kind of stuff AND remember it’s not the point; the point of life is our connection with something bigger than our little pea brain and our earthly tasks and troubles.”
In some ways, I find this to be a relief because, geez, the toilet paper shopping isn’t that fulfilling and I am really hoping a good-looking butt is not The Point.
I’m wondering, if the point is to keep my mind on Divinity… does that means I can’t have snarky thoughts, or can’t be irritated, or I can’t cuss like a sailor when I want to and I can’t eat toxic foods and I can’t share my frustrations about a co-worker and I can’t hang out in the bar at the airport, I can’t listen to Hip Hop and I can’t despise when people act fake, and the list goes on and on. Seriously, if that’s the point, I’m afraid there isn’t enough money in the world to support the kind of therapy I’m going to need.
Arjuna’s teacher does say “Work performed with anxiety about results is far inferior to work done in a state of calmness. Equanimity - the serene mental state free from likes and dislikes, attractions and repulsions - is truly the ideal attitude with which to live your life.”
But, hey, wait! I like rad yoga pants and I feel better when I wear them and I feel good about not having ice in my water and I like being a vegetarian. I like the way I vote and toilet paper is necessary in my household; it makes life nicer. So now what? What would Arjuna’s teacher say about all of this? I am going to guess Arjuna’s teacher would say, ‘fine - get the pants, use the toilet paper, drink without ice in your water and eat whatever suits you.’ However, I believe he would finish the sentence with, ‘…and don’t take any of it too seriously and understand that none of that ultimately matters, because the point is union with God, and if you aren’t careful, you will forget the point because of the shiny nature of those new Toms shoes you are wearing.’
*&(^*&^ We say & do...
I have not read the book “Stupid **** My Dad Says”, however, I have spent some time laughing at the YouTube videos about **** Yoga teachers say, ****Vegetarians say, and ****yogis say. I realize that I can have a crass sense of humor and I do enjoy sarcasm. In other words, you should stop reading here if my edginess is bothersome.
These YouTube videos poke fun at how seriously we all take ourselves. I like this sort of message. It’s NOT saying yoga isn’t serious; it’s pointing fingers at how seriously we all take ourselves about yoga (you could replace the word yoga here with vegetarianism, volleyball, financial planning, parenting, etc.). It’s poking fun at the fact that there are $100 yoga pants supposed to make our butt look better, there are these new shoes that have hit the yoga world by storm called TOMS, eco-friendly mats that cost a small fortune, granola bars called Yogi bars, the fact that so many yogis order water without ice so their Agni will stay fired up yet eat a giant bowl of ice cream for dessert, vegetarians connected to the vow of ahimsa (non-violence) and yet vote in a way that supports violence. BTW, did you know the latest count of casualties in Syria is _______. I won’t even get into how, when a group of yogis are together in a social setting, we might be tossing back a cold one as we talk about ridding the toxins in our bodies, bowel movements and food. These contradictory messages are everywhere in the yoga world. Most recently, they have been in the news because a well-known international teacher has fallen from grace and a giant yoga competition was held showing off the master of physical postures. It’s a yoga contest!!
So, if I wear $100 yoga pants and TOMS shoes, practice on an eco-friendly mat, eat Yogi bars, never have an iced drink, am vegan, vote to support non-violence and avoid yoga competitions am I going to be happier? More content? Will doing those things lead me to a life of non-attachment, reduced suffering and love? Is it going to mean that I am selfless and not attached to outcomes? Is it going to mean that I won’t care if people like me or if people think I’m a good yoga teacher, or a good boss at work, or a good wife? What’s the point again? What’s the point of yoga? What’s the point of life? Could someone please remind me?
I have recently been reading a new translation of the Bhagavad Gita entitled “The Bhagavad Gita, A Walkthrough for Westerners.” I have read other translations of this sacred text and this seems to be the most accessible of them all. This is a text that has multiple messages, however the one that is currently ringing through loud and clear for me is when the book is attempting to clearly spell out the point of everything; here, the teacher is speaking to the student:
“The point, old friend - and this is very important - is to do your worldly duty, but do it without any attachment to it or desire for its fruits. Keep your mind always on the Divinity. Make it as automatic as your breath or heartbeat. This is the way to reach the supreme goal, which is to merge into God.”
What? I thought the point was that the roof needs paid for and the studio needs to stay financially solvent and I need to show up to work and I should speak respectfully to my boss and remember to buy toilet paper and walk the dog and clean the basement in case I need to hole up down there during a storm. In this message from Arjuna’s teacher, I think he is basically saying “yeah, yeah, yeah, do that kind of stuff AND remember it’s not the point; the point of life is our connection with something bigger than our little pea brain and our earthly tasks and troubles.”
In some ways, I find this to be a relief because, geez, the toilet paper shopping isn’t that fulfilling and I am really hoping a good-looking butt is not The Point.
I’m wondering, if the point is to keep my mind on Divinity… does that means I can’t have snarky thoughts, or can’t be irritated, or I can’t cuss like a sailor when I want to and I can’t eat toxic foods and I can’t share my frustrations about a co-worker and I can’t hang out in the bar at the airport, I can’t listen to Hip Hop and I can’t despise when people act fake, and the list goes on and on. Seriously, if that’s the point, I’m afraid there isn’t enough money in the world to support the kind of therapy I’m going to need.
Arjuna’s teacher does say “Work performed with anxiety about results is far inferior to work done in a state of calmness. Equanimity - the serene mental state free from likes and dislikes, attractions and repulsions - is truly the ideal attitude with which to live your life.”
But, hey, wait! I like rad yoga pants and I feel better when I wear them and I feel good about not having ice in my water and I like being a vegetarian. I like the way I vote and toilet paper is necessary in my household; it makes life nicer. So now what? What would Arjuna’s teacher say about all of this? I am going to guess Arjuna’s teacher would say, ‘fine - get the pants, use the toilet paper, drink without ice in your water and eat whatever suits you.’ However, I believe he would finish the sentence with, ‘…and don’t take any of it too seriously and understand that none of that ultimately matters, because the point is union with God, and if you aren’t careful, you will forget the point because of the shiny nature of those new Toms shoes you are wearing.’
These YouTube videos poke fun at how seriously we all take ourselves. I like this sort of message. It’s NOT saying yoga isn’t serious; it’s pointing fingers at how seriously we all take ourselves about yoga (you could replace the word yoga here with vegetarianism, volleyball, financial planning, parenting, etc.). It’s poking fun at the fact that there are $100 yoga pants supposed to make our butt look better, there are these new shoes that have hit the yoga world by storm called TOMS, eco-friendly mats that cost a small fortune, granola bars called Yogi bars, the fact that so many yogis order water without ice so their Agni will stay fired up yet eat a giant bowl of ice cream for dessert, vegetarians connected to the vow of ahimsa (non-violence) and yet vote in a way that supports violence. BTW, did you know the latest count of casualties in Syria is _______. I won’t even get into how, when a group of yogis are together in a social setting, we might be tossing back a cold one as we talk about ridding the toxins in our bodies, bowel movements and food. These contradictory messages are everywhere in the yoga world. Most recently, they have been in the news because a well-known international teacher has fallen from grace and a giant yoga competition was held showing off the master of physical postures. It’s a yoga contest!!
So, if I wear $100 yoga pants and TOMS shoes, practice on an eco-friendly mat, eat Yogi bars, never have an iced drink, am vegan, vote to support non-violence and avoid yoga competitions am I going to be happier? More content? Will doing those things lead me to a life of non-attachment, reduced suffering and love? Is it going to mean that I am selfless and not attached to outcomes? Is it going to mean that I won’t care if people like me or if people think I’m a good yoga teacher, or a good boss at work, or a good wife? What’s the point again? What’s the point of yoga? What’s the point of life? Could someone please remind me?
I have recently been reading a new translation of the Bhagavad Gita entitled “The Bhagavad Gita, A Walkthrough for Westerners.” I have read other translations of this sacred text and this seems to be the most accessible of them all. This is a text that has multiple messages, however the one that is currently ringing through loud and clear for me is when the book is attempting to clearly spell out the point of everything; here, the teacher is speaking to the student:
“The point, old friend - and this is very important - is to do your worldly duty, but do it without any attachment to it or desire for its fruits. Keep your mind always on the Divinity. Make it as automatic as your breath or heartbeat. This is the way to reach the supreme goal, which is to merge into God.”
What? I thought the point was that the roof needs paid for and the studio needs to stay financially solvent and I need to show up to work and I should speak respectfully to my boss and remember to buy toilet paper and walk the dog and clean the basement in case I need to hole up down there during a storm. In this message from Arjuna’s teacher, I think he is basically saying “yeah, yeah, yeah, do that kind of stuff AND remember it’s not the point; the point of life is our connection with something bigger than our little pea brain and our earthly tasks and troubles.”
In some ways, I find this to be a relief because, geez, the toilet paper shopping isn’t that fulfilling and I am really hoping a good-looking butt is not The Point.
I’m wondering, if the point is to keep my mind on Divinity… does that means I can’t have snarky thoughts, or can’t be irritated, or I can’t cuss like a sailor when I want to and I can’t eat toxic foods and I can’t share my frustrations about a co-worker and I can’t hang out in the bar at the airport, I can’t listen to Hip Hop and I can’t despise when people act fake, and the list goes on and on. Seriously, if that’s the point, I’m afraid there isn’t enough money in the world to support the kind of therapy I’m going to need.
Arjuna’s teacher does say “Work performed with anxiety about results is far inferior to work done in a state of calmness. Equanimity - the serene mental state free from likes and dislikes, attractions and repulsions - is truly the ideal attitude with which to live your life.”
But, hey, wait! I like rad yoga pants and I feel better when I wear them and I feel good about not having ice in my water and I like being a vegetarian. I like the way I vote and toilet paper is necessary in my household; it makes life nicer. So now what? What would Arjuna’s teacher say about all of this? I am going to guess Arjuna’s teacher would say, ‘fine - get the pants, use the toilet paper, drink without ice in your water and eat whatever suits you.’ However, I believe he would finish the sentence with, ‘…and don’t take any of it too seriously and understand that none of that ultimately matters, because the point is union with God, and if you aren’t careful, you will forget the point because of the shiny nature of those new Toms shoes you are wearing.’
Shiny Red Shoes & Contentment
I sometimes like to read a chapter in the book Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes before I go to bed. It inevitably leads to fascinating dreams. So, this past week I read the myth of the girl and the red shoes.
The young woman in the story is poor and living alone in the forest without shoes (and obviously no yoga mat). She figures out a way to piece together enough material to create a pair of red cloth shoes. She is very content with these shoes, in fact, she was happy with them. One day she was out walking in a forest (forests are always involved) and an elderly lady came up in a beautiful carriage (carriages are also always involved) and offered to support and care for her. The woman with the red shoes accepted the invitation.
Shortly after her arrival, the elderly lady got rid of the red shoes. The young woman was devastated., feeling as though she had lost a piece of herself. A variety of events followed, including the young woman getting and wearing a pair of shiny red shoes (all against the wishes of the elderly lady and of the other community members). The young woman was so fascinated with these shiny new shoes she thought about them all the time. She was forbidden to wear the red shoes and they were hidden away.
Eventually, she found a way to get the red shoes and put them on her feet. To her dismay, the red shoes began to dance her around. She lost control to the shoes and she couldn't stop dancing. This dancing went on for so long she couldn't stand it anymore. Her only option was to get her feet cut off. No kidding. Off they went.
I'll spare you the details of my dream the night I read the story and we don't have time to go into the symbolism around standing on your own two feet, of independence, women's issues, etc. However, those stinkin red shoes have been on my mind every since reading the myth.
You may or may not know in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, contentment is one of the five principles leading to a happier existence. In Sanskrit the word for contentment is Santosha. Just in case your curious, the other four principles are purity, self-discipline, self-study and devotion to some presence bigger than yourself. I'm not sure when shiny red shoes were first invented, but I'm guessing it was after the compilation of the 196 aphorisms that make up the Sutras.
How often are we lured in by the proverbial shiny red shoes? What are the shiny red shoes in your life? Are your "shoes" a new house, a new job, a new partner, a more challenging yoga pose, a new body, a new feeling? Do we decide to be content? Aren't we suppose to always strive for bigger, better and get more, more, more? I think the girl without her feet would have been happier if she had stuck with the red cloth shoes.
Historically, yogis were schooled in philosophy before asana (postures). However, that mode of operation wouldn't likely work here in the west. In the west, we approach yoga from the physical first which inevitably leads to the philosophy or spiritual side of the practice. If we want to weave yoga philosophy into our lives on and off our mats, we could start to observe the principle of contentment. We could become more content with the pain that comes from "yoga butt' (an ouchy pain in the booty that is not that uncommon), or the extra ten pounds that might be inhibiting us from binding in a posture or the realization that no matter how many years we practice~ it is possible for some people to continue to feel like a 2x4 when they wake up in the morning.
In other words, we can be content with where we are right now & how we are right now. It's even possible to be content with change. May we all take a moment to reflect on our "red shoes."
The young woman in the story is poor and living alone in the forest without shoes (and obviously no yoga mat). She figures out a way to piece together enough material to create a pair of red cloth shoes. She is very content with these shoes, in fact, she was happy with them. One day she was out walking in a forest (forests are always involved) and an elderly lady came up in a beautiful carriage (carriages are also always involved) and offered to support and care for her. The woman with the red shoes accepted the invitation.
Shortly after her arrival, the elderly lady got rid of the red shoes. The young woman was devastated., feeling as though she had lost a piece of herself. A variety of events followed, including the young woman getting and wearing a pair of shiny red shoes (all against the wishes of the elderly lady and of the other community members). The young woman was so fascinated with these shiny new shoes she thought about them all the time. She was forbidden to wear the red shoes and they were hidden away.
Eventually, she found a way to get the red shoes and put them on her feet. To her dismay, the red shoes began to dance her around. She lost control to the shoes and she couldn't stop dancing. This dancing went on for so long she couldn't stand it anymore. Her only option was to get her feet cut off. No kidding. Off they went.
I'll spare you the details of my dream the night I read the story and we don't have time to go into the symbolism around standing on your own two feet, of independence, women's issues, etc. However, those stinkin red shoes have been on my mind every since reading the myth.
You may or may not know in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, contentment is one of the five principles leading to a happier existence. In Sanskrit the word for contentment is Santosha. Just in case your curious, the other four principles are purity, self-discipline, self-study and devotion to some presence bigger than yourself. I'm not sure when shiny red shoes were first invented, but I'm guessing it was after the compilation of the 196 aphorisms that make up the Sutras.
How often are we lured in by the proverbial shiny red shoes? What are the shiny red shoes in your life? Are your "shoes" a new house, a new job, a new partner, a more challenging yoga pose, a new body, a new feeling? Do we decide to be content? Aren't we suppose to always strive for bigger, better and get more, more, more? I think the girl without her feet would have been happier if she had stuck with the red cloth shoes.
Historically, yogis were schooled in philosophy before asana (postures). However, that mode of operation wouldn't likely work here in the west. In the west, we approach yoga from the physical first which inevitably leads to the philosophy or spiritual side of the practice. If we want to weave yoga philosophy into our lives on and off our mats, we could start to observe the principle of contentment. We could become more content with the pain that comes from "yoga butt' (an ouchy pain in the booty that is not that uncommon), or the extra ten pounds that might be inhibiting us from binding in a posture or the realization that no matter how many years we practice~ it is possible for some people to continue to feel like a 2x4 when they wake up in the morning.
In other words, we can be content with where we are right now & how we are right now. It's even possible to be content with change. May we all take a moment to reflect on our "red shoes."
Choose This NOT That
A week or so ago, Vince and I were visiting my parents in sunny, hot Arizona. I took my mat in hope of having the opportunity to find a class or just spend some time to practice when not sleeping in or relaxing at the pool. I was fortunate enough to find a class that fit in our pool schedule. We started on our backs with eyes closed. The teacher said "today allow yourself to focus on what feels good & focus on what you are able to do in your practice. You get to choose where your attention goes." Ohhhh yeah, now I remember, I can choose to suffer or not suffer. Seems too good to be true.
Since that class I have been focusing my attention on choice. The examples of how this plays out are endless so I'll just throw out a few. Today, in the car with Vince I said "hey, I want to know if you think I should be offended by what so & so said to me Friday after the meeting." Then, wowza, I caught myself and began to laugh. Why would I choose to be offended? If i choose offended i will suffer (probably so would she) and if I choose not to suffer, we are both happy. Just last week I rolled out of bed at some obscene hour to get up and travel to an out of town meeting. As I was lying in bed I heard what apperared to be an owlebration (celebrating owls) in our front yard. Ohhh, choice between feeling sorry for myself that I had to get up and Vince got to sleep in or on how amazing it is that we have so many owls singing on our street. Last month, I tried a pair of pants on and they were a little snug (I'm being gentle on myself here) I could choose to focus on the snug or I could focus on how I have been doing better at getting some cardio in even amidst a pretty jampacked schedule. As I have been writing this I have the opportunity to choose whether to focus on the birds singing or I could focus on the hideous 1980's rock music blaring out of a neighbors garage. Is it starting to be obvious which is going to lead to suffering? That was an easy one...obvi the 1980's headbanger music is one definition of suffering.
This could come across as being about focusing on the positive. However, what I'm trying to convey here is that in each moment we get to decide where we are going to put our attention. Is it going to be on suffering or peace? Is it going to be on this? or on that?
You choose, I'm going to practice choosing this peace, not that suffering.
Ami
Add Love to the Task-List
It’s rainy and dreary and I’m working and getting ready to study for a class I’m taking. Although I swore to one of my favorite friends and co-workers (see pic) that I would stop saying I’m so behind….I’m sooooooooooooooooooooo behind. I spent some time last night trying to organize my life into a calendar and a task list. It looks very pretty. I’m guessing it won’t feel pretty. It’s the first time I have included yoga, meditation, exercise and writing into my daily task list. I put them each there, every day, some of them with a completion time of ten minutes.
I realize that years ago (maybe even now), people would have thought it was insane to need to schedule in your personal time. However, with my current schedule, I believe it’s this structure that will remind me minutes on my yoga mat count just as much as answering the 136 emails waiting to be returned in my inbox. There is a great line in one of the Mumford & Sons songs that says “where you put your love- is where you put your life.” I guess you could say I’m adding my love to the task list.
I hope you will join me and put something you love on your list.
Ami
Mantra for 2011: No-Self Help
If you have read any of my previous posts on new year's resolutions, you allready know I don't recommend them. This year I'm going to adopt a mantra (is that a resolution?). The mantra is no-self help.
I am going to use this mantra to stop focusing on what I don't do well, stop pushing myself to always get better at things I stink at and stop spending time trying to be something I am not.
I do alot of trainings for school people for my day job. I am typically the type of person who makes a point to glance at the evalutions for feedback. The feedback can be useful for changing or adapting something I'm doing and it can be really useful for beating up on myself. Typically, I try to make the review of the evals quick. I don't want people to think that I think too much of the feedback...that seems uncool in my world. After faking disinterest, I would read the evals and then ruminate over the ones that weren't glowing. There could be 50 outstanding evals and 1 not-so-great eval and I would put all of my focus on the one that is not-so-great.
I recently did a training for 45 people within the Quincy school district and sat down after the training to look at the evaluations. Since my new mantra is no-self help, I no longer have to believe I need to "get better" at not caring about people's feedback. So, I sat down and lingered over the information. Forty some excellents, a few goods and one fair. As mentioned above, historically, I put my focus on the yuck, or percieved yuck. ( What? good? one fair? Why not excellent? What could I have done differently, what didn't they like about me, what could I do tommorrow to......). Can you say exhausting? A person could lose alot of their life focusing on that 1%. Why on earth would a person focus on the 1% ick and not the 99% wonderful? Do we like feeling horrible?
I just started reading the book The 4 Hour Work Week ( a girl can dream). I interpreted some of what I read as a suggestion to stop spending time trying to get better at the stuff I'm not so good at and instead, focus on & grow what I am allready good at... WHAT? If I'm not spending my time trying to be better at certain parts of my job, better at organization, better at balancing out work and the rest of my life, better at writing thank you notes, better at eating a healthy diet when I am traveling for work, better at... The list could go on and on. If I stop trying to be better, won't my pants get to tight as I have milkshakes at every meal when I'm on the road and be content with the house being trashed and just give up on finding balance?
I think (please remember I just started the book) the author is suggesting if I drop all of the self-help and focus on my strengths, I will be happier and more satisfied. If I'm focusing on my strengths, experiencing that sense of contentment and peace then I believe I will naturally want to eat a healthy diet, keep my living space clean and organized and naturally find a place of balance between work and the rest of life. Instead of doing things because I believe I need to get better at them, I'm going to recognize what I am good at and let that guide me.
It could rock a person's world to think that we could drop the entire self-help movement. If this turns out to be accurate, I know a place where you can buy some self-help books at a very reduced price.
Here's to all of your wonderfulness-just as you are!
Ami
I am going to use this mantra to stop focusing on what I don't do well, stop pushing myself to always get better at things I stink at and stop spending time trying to be something I am not.
I do alot of trainings for school people for my day job. I am typically the type of person who makes a point to glance at the evalutions for feedback. The feedback can be useful for changing or adapting something I'm doing and it can be really useful for beating up on myself. Typically, I try to make the review of the evals quick. I don't want people to think that I think too much of the feedback...that seems uncool in my world. After faking disinterest, I would read the evals and then ruminate over the ones that weren't glowing. There could be 50 outstanding evals and 1 not-so-great eval and I would put all of my focus on the one that is not-so-great.
I recently did a training for 45 people within the Quincy school district and sat down after the training to look at the evaluations. Since my new mantra is no-self help, I no longer have to believe I need to "get better" at not caring about people's feedback. So, I sat down and lingered over the information. Forty some excellents, a few goods and one fair. As mentioned above, historically, I put my focus on the yuck, or percieved yuck. ( What? good? one fair? Why not excellent? What could I have done differently, what didn't they like about me, what could I do tommorrow to......). Can you say exhausting? A person could lose alot of their life focusing on that 1%. Why on earth would a person focus on the 1% ick and not the 99% wonderful? Do we like feeling horrible?
I just started reading the book The 4 Hour Work Week ( a girl can dream). I interpreted some of what I read as a suggestion to stop spending time trying to get better at the stuff I'm not so good at and instead, focus on & grow what I am allready good at... WHAT? If I'm not spending my time trying to be better at certain parts of my job, better at organization, better at balancing out work and the rest of my life, better at writing thank you notes, better at eating a healthy diet when I am traveling for work, better at... The list could go on and on. If I stop trying to be better, won't my pants get to tight as I have milkshakes at every meal when I'm on the road and be content with the house being trashed and just give up on finding balance?
I think (please remember I just started the book) the author is suggesting if I drop all of the self-help and focus on my strengths, I will be happier and more satisfied. If I'm focusing on my strengths, experiencing that sense of contentment and peace then I believe I will naturally want to eat a healthy diet, keep my living space clean and organized and naturally find a place of balance between work and the rest of life. Instead of doing things because I believe I need to get better at them, I'm going to recognize what I am good at and let that guide me.
It could rock a person's world to think that we could drop the entire self-help movement. If this turns out to be accurate, I know a place where you can buy some self-help books at a very reduced price.
Here's to all of your wonderfulness-just as you are!
Ami
Turkey, Tofu & Brain Surgery
Thanksgiving is a time that I am able to view the juxtaposition of events in previous Novembers. Thanksgiving always brings to mind the crazy cooking adventures I have had around the holidays. For instance, shortly after Vince and I got married I made a “tofurkey” from scratch. Think mushy tofu molded into the shape of a giant turkey, put on a pan and cooked. Now imagine it somehow being so heavy once it was cooked that I had to have Vince take it out of the oven. Or, there was the first time Vince and I hosted Thanksgiving for my family, Vince’s family and some friends (I think the Tofurkey was involved). Minutes after the family arrived one of my relatives made a bee line for the stove and stuck a spoon into the pan on the back burner, took a giant gulp of what she thought was mulled cider. It was potpourri. Poison control had to be called and she felt yucky all day, but had nice cinnamony breath. Then there was the Thanksgiving where we made our first Turkey, no tofu. I didn’t realize there was a plastic baggy of who- knows-what in the middle and therefore didn’t remove it prior to cooking. Oh yeah, then there was the Thanksgiving we switched from turkey in the oven to turkey in the deep fryer. We sat down to eat and the first turkey was so yummy that we forgot there was a second turkey in the fryer. Let’s just say there was no second turkey. To think that poor bird gave up his life only to be charred in our back yard still brings me to tears. Oh yeah, then there was the Thanksgiving where I was trying to carve a Turkey with a very nice ceramic knife Vince had been given as a Christmas gift. Let’s just say that’s not a good idea. It shattered…in the turkey. Then there was the Monday after Thanksgiving four years ago today that ended with a frantic car ride to Chicago to be with my brother as he prepared to go in for emergency brain surgery.
Wow. Life is like this right? Full of contrasts. We go from one thing to the next thing to the next thing. We move from a crazy busy schedule to a coasting, we move from feeling resentful that we have family obligations to recognizing after a loved one passes that it was all a gift, from feeling sadness about a death to feeling the immense joy that someone lived a good life. It’s consistently inconsistent, which I suppose makes it consistent. If life wasn’t like this, we wouldn’t be alive. Life IS like this and any wishing or craving that it wasn’t just results in suffering. I need to have that tattooed on my palm. As Byron Katie says: wishing life wasn’t the way it is results in suffering and only always.
These contrasts are part of our life on and off our yoga mats. The word Hatha (of Hatha Yoga) is the joining of two words (Ha and Tha) meaning Sun & Moon. Our yoga practice can be seen as a vehicle which helps us remember life is made up of opposites…soft & hard, pull & push, effort & no effort. I was reminded of this last week when practicing Crow posture. Because there was a moment of not recognizing the opposite movements of lifting up and at the same time lowering down, I ended up landing on my head. Now there’s a contrast…practicing feeling great to landing on my head~ not feeling so great. The contrasts from tofurkey to brain surgery allow me to be thankful for both, the inedible tofu and the healthy baby brother.
I promise if you ever come over for Thanksgiving we will order out. It will allow for yet another contrast.
Ami
Wow. Life is like this right? Full of contrasts. We go from one thing to the next thing to the next thing. We move from a crazy busy schedule to a coasting, we move from feeling resentful that we have family obligations to recognizing after a loved one passes that it was all a gift, from feeling sadness about a death to feeling the immense joy that someone lived a good life. It’s consistently inconsistent, which I suppose makes it consistent. If life wasn’t like this, we wouldn’t be alive. Life IS like this and any wishing or craving that it wasn’t just results in suffering. I need to have that tattooed on my palm. As Byron Katie says: wishing life wasn’t the way it is results in suffering and only always.
These contrasts are part of our life on and off our yoga mats. The word Hatha (of Hatha Yoga) is the joining of two words (Ha and Tha) meaning Sun & Moon. Our yoga practice can be seen as a vehicle which helps us remember life is made up of opposites…soft & hard, pull & push, effort & no effort. I was reminded of this last week when practicing Crow posture. Because there was a moment of not recognizing the opposite movements of lifting up and at the same time lowering down, I ended up landing on my head. Now there’s a contrast…practicing feeling great to landing on my head~ not feeling so great. The contrasts from tofurkey to brain surgery allow me to be thankful for both, the inedible tofu and the healthy baby brother.
I promise if you ever come over for Thanksgiving we will order out. It will allow for yet another contrast.
Ami
Thank you...I have no complaints
Thank you for everything. I have no complaints whatsoever is the mantra a Zen monk named Sono gave to all of her students in each and every situation. Holy Schmoly. Really? One of my not-always-so-fun-and-helpful strengths is that when I see situations I see things for what I believe they could be, or I think I see what could be better and then I act on that instinct. This very useful in lots of what I do and not so useful in lots of what I do. This would be a good time to refer back to anything I have ever written about expectations. Now that I write that, maybe I should go back and read everything I have ever written about expectations. This may be part of my life’s work.
Let’s just take a recent example when I was doing something I love…shopping.
I went into a small local boutique and on this particular Saturday afternoon there were no other customers. There was an adult woman and a tween behind the counter eating MdDonald’s fries. Not only did they not speak to me when I entered, but about ten minutes into my visit they had not yet acknowledged my presence ( I was trying things on) until… they told me that I needed to leave because they were closing (let’s be clear this would never happen at the Wardrobe, owned by yogi Kim Dixon). Seriously, I did leave with a complaint (that until now stayed in my head…except for the few friends I told…yikes) and just for the record I left without an expensive sweater.
I am so grateful that noone can actually see inside my head and then know how icky I sound (although likely I have outed my ickyness before now). I told one of my bosses last year that the inside of my head really sounds like Stewey the nasty, mean spirited baby (I know babies in real life can’t be nasty) on Family Guy.
It seems like a very challenging practice that might help steer me more towards gratitude rather than grumbling. What do I have to lose? I am going to pick a day…hmmm…let’s say tomorrow and I’m gonna give it a shot. The world could use one more grateful person.
Thank you for everything. I have no complaints whatsoever.
Let’s just take a recent example when I was doing something I love…shopping.
I went into a small local boutique and on this particular Saturday afternoon there were no other customers. There was an adult woman and a tween behind the counter eating MdDonald’s fries. Not only did they not speak to me when I entered, but about ten minutes into my visit they had not yet acknowledged my presence ( I was trying things on) until… they told me that I needed to leave because they were closing (let’s be clear this would never happen at the Wardrobe, owned by yogi Kim Dixon). Seriously, I did leave with a complaint (that until now stayed in my head…except for the few friends I told…yikes) and just for the record I left without an expensive sweater.
I am so grateful that noone can actually see inside my head and then know how icky I sound (although likely I have outed my ickyness before now). I told one of my bosses last year that the inside of my head really sounds like Stewey the nasty, mean spirited baby (I know babies in real life can’t be nasty) on Family Guy.
It seems like a very challenging practice that might help steer me more towards gratitude rather than grumbling. What do I have to lose? I am going to pick a day…hmmm…let’s say tomorrow and I’m gonna give it a shot. The world could use one more grateful person.
Thank you for everything. I have no complaints whatsoever.
Yoga & Prairie Dogs
I recently heard on the radio that praire dogs stop two times a day, stand still with their hands in prayer position and face the sun. I wonder how it is that prairie dogs can remember to do that when sometimes I forget to stop and go to the bathroom.
I heard this praire dog story when Terry Tempest Williams, author of "Finding Beauty In a Broken World" was interviewned on National Public Radio. This praire dog story was part of the lead into an interview about the idea that we all need to find our place.
This title really hit home for me since I have been on the road alot and spending alot of quality time in hotels. We all need a place, right? Where is our place when we aren't at home, or when we don't feel like we fit in at work, at church, in our marriage or our circle of friends.
In this messy, sometimes seemingly broken world, it is easy to feel as though we don't know where we fit. This could mean we don't know if we fit in our jeans, but more than likely it is the feeling of not being sure where we fit among the people and places in our lives. Maybe this feeling arises as we leave a relationship, or when we are ready for retirement or recognizing it's time to move into a new job or new city. If we don't know where we fit, we can end up feeling like we don't have any solid ground under our feet.
When I don't feel like I know where I fit, the best thing I can do is hop, stumble, crawl, run or roll out of bed and onto my mat. It gives me the opportunity to sense the ground under my feet, the breath move through my belly and the recognition that where we all fit is~ everywhere. It can be the reminder that there really is no separation from wisdom, no separation from grace and there is no true separation from any other beings...whether that is the person with the bad attitude sitting across from you, or the prairie dog.
Here's to stopping twice a day, putting our hands in front of our hearts, setting the intention to remember we always have a place of beauty to visit & it's on the inside
The Road to Something Beautiful
I was talking with a yogi the other day who mentioned they were "thinking about starting a home practice."
I LOVE THESE WORDS!
I had the opporutnity to ask a few questions about where this might be coming from and what might be getting in the way of the mat moving out of the trunk and rollled onto the floor. The responses were all of the ones that most of use...I like to get up to read the paper and have a cup of coffee, I'm in a hurrry, the kids need to have breakfast, the dog needs walked, I don't want to give up my morning run, etc. Although that is what most of say is getting in the way of the mat gettting rolled out, I think often times there could be an underlying sense of discomfort about being alone in a room, standing at the front of our mat, with the sometimes loud voice in our head, the discomfort in our bodies and the sometimes funky feeling in our hearts. I would rather tell you it's just because I like to sleep in.
When I hear someone say "I'm thinking of starting a home practice" what I hear them say is "I'm really ready to start something beautiful." Getting on the mat alone, if we stick with it, will mean we have the opportunity for all roads to lead us home to ourselves. This road may not always feel so great, maybe because our back is sore and our hamstrings tight, or maybe because we need to nurture that part of ourselves that we have neglected. The neglected part might be we have kept so busy we haven't allowed ourselves to feel what we really feel. Those feelings might include grief, anger, desire, fear or maybe even love.
This road back to our true nature doesn't have to be long and full of suffering. It just needs to be traveled with awareness and patience. This road can be like a beautiful drive through the mountains. Imagine driving in the mountains when you aren't in a hurry , you safely maneuver through the highs and lows, you have the opportunity to take in the amazing views, breathe in the crisp, fresh air and arrive safely back at home.
This month maybe we could all take the journey towards home by spending ten minutes in a room alone, on our mats. We could start by standing at the front of our mat, feeling the energy move up our legs, taking a deep breath, moving into tree pose and then resting. Start the journey gently, five or ten minutes is just as beautiful as forty five minutes...if you are thinking of starting a home practice.
Here's to the journey
The Yoga Sutra says Bliss is in the Dumpster
Patanjali's Yoga Sutra were compiled approximately five thousand years ago. It is in these Sutra (sutra can be translated as threads...as in threads of wisdom) that Patanjali laid out 194 (or 196 depending on who you ask) aphorisms (or short bits of wisdom).
It is in these four chapters that Patanjali described the infamous eight limbs of yoga. These eight limbs of yoga are contained in chapters two and three. "It is in chapter two, entitled "Sadhana Pada" (can be translated as "Treading the Path)" that Patanjali gives us ways we can live our lives that will lead to awakening." (from mindful YOGA mindful LIFE by Charlotte Bell).
It could also be said that the eight limbs of yoga lay out a way for us to "tread the path" and reduce suffering, thus leading us to a happier life. It seems unimaginable that even now, the eight limbed path is relevant in our lives and, yet, it is. Just in case you haven't had an opportunity to dive into the Yoga Sutras, here is the layout of the eight limbs:
1. Yamas: ethics or as I see it, things not to do.
• ahimsa: non-violence
• satya: not lying (telling the truth)
• asteya: nonstealing
• brahmacharya: not misusing our sexual energy
• aparigraha: not being greedy
2. Niyamas: personal practices or as I see it, things to do.
•saucha: cleanliness
•santosha: contentement
•tapas: discipline
•svadyaya: study of self or spiritual texts
•Ishvarapranidhana: surrender to the presence of something bigger than us
3. Asana: physical practice of postures
4. Pranayama: extension of life force: breath practice
5. Pratyahara: sense withdrawal
6. Dharana: concentration
7. Dyhana: meditation
8. Samadhi: absorption into spirit
At the risk of sounding crazy, I think Patanjali might have been telling me we should rent a dumpster. I think he thought it would be one step on the path to less suffering and to more clarity about what's important and who I am. All of that from a dumpster? Extra amazing since he probably had never even heard of a dupster.
I had this realization about the connection between the dumpster and the Yoga Sutras as I was preparing to teach Monday night . I was working through how to teach the importance of how we keep our props (think blankets, blocks, mats, etc) and our practice space. I recognize some people make fun of how meticulous I am about keeping the blankets folded and the studio in order. I see the space we practice in, whether is at Ahh Yoga, at home or anywhere else, as sacred space. It is space where we are opening ourselves both physically and emotionally; and as I see it, it is space that ultimately represents the rest of our lives. It comes back to that motto "how you do anything is how you do everything."
So, as I try to tie most of the beginning classes to some piece of the Yoga Sutra, I realize this notion of cleanliness and orderliness is part of Patanjali's niyamas (the second of the eight limbs of Patanjali's Yoga). In fact, it is the first of the niyamas. It is called Saucha. Saucha is sometimes translated as purity and sometimes it is extended to cleanliness. For now, let's just go with the cleanliness concept.
Our garage needed a serious cleaning as did our basement. So, we rented a dumpster and filled it with all kinds of stuff that didn't need to be saved and didn't need passed on to someone else. For instance, I found my 1986 Arthur Marching Band Award, all of the notes given to me by my high school friends and high school boyfriend, framed certificates of achievements from undergraduate school, an empty coke bottle filled with glitter from my college dorm room, mardi gra beads (that I didn't earn) and the list goes on and on and on.
I knew that all of that clutter in the basement and garage was weighing on me, but I didn't know how much until they pulled the full dumpster out of our driveway. It seems accurate to me that when my environment is less cluttered, is clean and organized, my mind is more settled and clearer. When my mind is clearer and more settled, I am able to see more clearly who I am and see more clearly what is important. Who knew that filling that dumpster to the brim was going to remind me that what we all are at our core is perfect, beautiful, blissful love, and what is most important is that we live from that space, both in our hearts, in our basements, and garages.
Unconditioning
Back to school is such an exciting time of year. Even though I no longer go school supply shopping and wait anxiously to find out who my homeroom teacher is going to be, come mid august there is always that sense something exciting is about to happen. Typically at the beginning of August, I try to clean out my desk, straighten up the bookshelves, buy a new calendar and set all kinds of irrational and unachievable goals. One year I set the goal that I was going to get up early enough every work day to have hot tea, write in my journal and read inspirational stuff before I got ready for work. If you are ever interested, I can show you the two pages I filled in that journal.
So, this year, I started out cleaning the desk and bookshelves. As I was going through a stack of papers (that should have been filed six months ago), I found a little blue sticky note that said "yoga is about un-conditioning." Yoga is about doing things differently, how perfect for the beginning of August.
Since I found the note, I have realized this is an accurate reflection of my personal practice. When I am on the yoga mat and practicing Sun Salutations A&B and am moving into Plank pose, I almost always step back with my left foot. I almost always pause and do a little self talk before I attempt to practice five boat poses (goes like this...come on, just do it, what are you waiting for, stalling isn't going to help...). I tend to skip inversions I have aversions to and I almost always have to remind myself that it isn't necessary to beat myself up when I have a day or two off the mat. The same is true in my life off the mat. I am conditioned to lean forward when I type at my desk, I always hold the phone with my left hand, about 3:00 pm I begin craving a coke, if I am feeeling stressed I am distracted and am more likely to multi-task and I can predict that if I am anxious and simultaneously distracted I am going to begin to go into grasping and controlling mode. It's all conditioning.
If we start to move back with a different foot, hold the phone with a different hand, have a hot tea instead of a coke, move right into the inversion we avoid and back off rather than attempt to control we are going to have to be present. These types of changes, little tiny changes (btw, they don't feel little to me~especially the Coca Cola) are going to require us to WAKE UP, to PAY ATTENTION, to SNAP out of our very enticing reverie, move off our AUTOPILOT way of living and engage in the moment. Practicing this can be done right on your yoga sticky mat. You can pay attention to any habits you may have fallen into, whether that's how you hold your tongue in your mouth, how you flip your hair after a forward bend, how you watch the teacher instead of your drishti, how you continue to increase the crease between your eyebrows or how you allow yourself to go on a rampage of self loathing inside your head. These types of changes on the mat will surely begin to afford us the opportunity to brave the world off our mat in a completely unconditioned way. Who knows, maybe we can all wake up long enough to realize we might have been missing our life, our very beautiful, poignant and temporary life.
Yoga and the Bucket
Yesterday I found myself in that not-so cool position of presenting information on a book I have not read. It was actually just a few points from a book I hadn't read. Anyway, I did what I did in high school. I read the web version of cliff notes. The title of the book is "How Full is Your Bucket." The jist of this book is that in every interaction we have we are either putting good stuff in other people's buckets or we are scooping stuff out of their bucket. In addition, when we put stuff in other people's buckets, our bucket gets fuller & the fuller our bucket, the better we feel. Seems reasonable enough to me, seems like we all want a full bucket.
The concept of this book reminded me of my yoga bucket. I feel happier and am more likely to get on the mat if I remember there are lots of different ways to practice. The practice can be tailored to my life.
I was in the Monday afternoon Ashtanga class and it occured to me that the practice was feeling fantastic because of the structure the ashtanga primary series offers. When you practice Ashtanga, you never need to wonder what comes next, because the sequence of poses is always the same. At that moment in my life,I was needing structure on and off my mat.
I was in Yin class, and it occured to me that the practice was feeling fantastic because I had no idea what was coming next, my body was trying new things and I
found a strength I didn't know I had. That day, I realized I needed to be more present and not spend so much time in the imagined future.
I was in vinyasa flow class and remembered I love practicing to music and I loved how the changing sequence of familiar poses was refreshing. On that day, I was
needing to remember that when life starts to feel a little lackluster, I can take what I allready know and just change it up a bit.
I was feeling crazy stressed and practiced three part breathing while in the car. At that moment, I needed the opportunity to allow my breath to drop down into my belly and assist in taking my nervous system off high alert.
I had time on Saturday afternoon to get in a long slow practice. On that day, I was desperately needing time without other people, I needed to move slowly
and allow space for devotion to some presence larger than myself.
This morning I had a short practice in my hotel room with the sun shining in my third floor window. I had very little time, but wanted the opportunity to take care of my body before sitting in a day long meeting.
As I reflect on this, I have a variety of yoga tools to use in my daily life. Yoga has the potential to help us fill our own buckets and in turn, have the
energy to fill other people's buckets.
keep on truckin
A few months ago Vince and I found the time to go and visit my mother’s cousin in Indianapolis. His name is Pete. When I was growing up, Pete was that one relative who I always thought “got” me. He was around at all the important times in my life. He was a free spirit and had the ability to make light of even the stickiest family conversations. Shortly after Vince and I got married, Pete’s sixteen year old son was killed in a car accident. I wondered how he could survive such a tragedy. A few years later, he fell off a ladder and broke his back. He survived through the recovery with that same amazing Pete spirit. Today, Pete lives in the room built onto his house where he lies all day, every day in his hospital bed. He has some sort of neurological illness that has taken away his ability to walk and now his ability to speak, to eat regular food, to feed himself and to engage in any way other than with his eyes and hopefully soon his fingers on a communication device. As one might imagine, about the only thing you can say about this is “this sucks”.
So, on our visit, I sat across from him wondering what it must be like to be inside there, inside his body. Are any of us ready to be able to live inside our bodies? Truly inside. I wonder if Pete has learned about his thinking and somehow was able to find peace with how his physical body was deteriorating? I wonder if he decided he could find joy in looking outside the window, hearing about other people’s lives, watching his unbelievably devoted wife live her life and watching Raymond on television? I wonder if he was able to find peace in how people, including myself, began to slowly (or not so slowly) stop visiting. We can all be so afraid to look at how our life might turn out, that we turn our heads, afraid to look at the cracks. Just a side note, Leonard Cohen says “looking at the cracks is how we let the light in.”
As I left our visit, so many things were running through my mind that I was sort of in shut down mode. Well, actually, I was in eat-lots-of-blueberry-pie-mode at the Traverse City Pie Company.
This thinking comes again as my maternal grandmother has had a rather rapid physical and mental deterioration. She is now in the nursing home and is again able to recognize people and communicate, but her quality of life isn’t so great. Actually, I would say it’s not great at all. It does make you, or at least me, wonder, at some point don’t you just want to throw in the towel? I don’t want to be in a nursing home, nor does anyone else I know. Where do people find the joy to keep on truckin? Do they find the joy, or do they just muddle through? Do we have a choice…do we get to decide between the two?
I see this same theme as people I know and love retire from the work that they have devoted most of their waking hours. As they leave their jobs, I see a sort of stumbling around trying to figure out what’s next? What is next? Is it taking care of the grandkids and volunteering? Does golf on Mondays, housework on Tuesdays, volunteering on Thursdays and time with friends on Friday’s end up satisfying us?
How do we look forward when we realize that there are more years behind us than ahead of us? How do you look forward when you realize you aren’t going to walk anymore? How do you look forward when you leave the role you have identified with for most of your life? Where oh where does that will to live come from and why is it I’m not sure if I’ve got it? It’s that age old question…what in the world is all of this for? Is it so I can end up in a nursing home with someone calling me “honey’ and giving me really crappy food after I have spent most of my adult life trying to eat organic and fresh?
As you can see, or read, that line of thinking ain’t gonna get us anywhere. In fact, the joke is on us. There isn’t anywhere for us to get. The reason the future can look so scary and icky, is because the future doesn’t even exist. I know I sound nuts (and probably depressed) but really, this moment is all there is. There isn’t anything else other than now. So, trying to figure out what might lie ahead of us is wasting right now. I am not implying here that there aren’t things we need to plan for, like life insurance and a retirement fund, but what I am saying is anything other than those practicalities is futile and ultimately irrelevant. The only point of all this is there is no point. If you can step back for a second it is riotously funny. We can’t know if we are gonna be the one getting a sponge bath or climbing a mountain when we are 90. We can only know now, that how we treat our bodies in this moment may increase the odds that we are climbing rather than sponging. We can know that the disgusting blended salad smoothie (don’t get me started) is way better for my body than the vegan chocolate shake I’m craving. We can know that getting on our mat increases the likelihood that we will keep our balance and reduce the likelihood of falling and breaking a hip if we get to grow old, going for a brisk walk might help reduce the likelihood of our heart giving out sooner than we want and practicing pranayama might come in handy if we get trapped inside the body.
The way all this wondering and questioning and suffering ceases is that we recognize that we are not our roles, we are not our jobs, we are not our parents, we are not our kids, we are not our bodies, we are not our thoughts, we are not our minds, we are not our past, we are not our future. There really is no “me” who needs satisfied. Really, there isn’t. Whether we have lived half of our life doesn’t really matter. What matters is that who we are is what is looking outside this shell of a body and who we are will be here when it’s gone. This “who we are” is there even if work stops, if this body stops working, even if the body can no longer produce sound, even if life isn’t going as planned, even if I’m getting a sponge bath, even if the body is sick, even if our husband leaves, even if our outside world falls apart. This recognition just might be what keeps us truckin.
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