the fifth limb

The fifth limb of the yoga sutra took on a whole new light after being with Sri Vatsa Rama Swami.


And now he says we will practice pratyahara, sense withdrawal. As we kneel with a straight spine we place our thumbs in our ears, our index and middle finger over our closed eyelids, the tip of the index finger gently touches the nostril and our baby fingers point to our mouth. He assures us we will hear him tell us when we are finished. I begin the practice. Initially I am distracted by some discomfort in the shoulders and then a sense of panic arises. There is only the sound of, the sound of nothingness. I feel freaked out and I begin to secretly release my thumbs so sound comes in and the panic disappears. Thumbs back in and panic is back. I can't identify the origin of the panic. Rationally I know there is no-thing to panic about... and yet there is panic. I sit quietly the rest of the practice. Seven days of this practice before I no longer feel panicky.

This practice of pratyahara, along with some pearls of wisdom about our senses from Sri Vatsa Ramaswami, has had me thinking and had me looking at the Yoga Sutra a bit more than usual. Withdrawal of the senses from their objects (or Pratyahara) is one of the eight limbs of yoga as noted in Patanjali's Yoga Sutra. It is actually the fifth limb. This limb comes after practices of self control, precepts for social harmony and self discipline, yoga poses and regulation of prana. It comes before contemplation of our true nature, meditation on our true self and being absorbed in our spirit.

As I listened to Ramaswami talk about not clogging our senses by reducing our involvement in what isn't necessary and showing moderation in food and communication, I wondered if this isn't the missing link for some of us. It pushes us to go way deeper than our asana (posture practice). It means whether or not we can put our foot behind our head, we have more challenging work ahead...minimizing our nervous chatter, being moderate in our consumption of french fries and cosmopolitans. Even more challenging might mean no longer being involved in what isn't necessary.

Can you even imagine what it means to no longer be involved in what isn't necessary? Where would an overachieving, social, on-the-go, hard-working being even begin with such a task. It's something I dream about...being less busy. Having more time on the porch to read and watch the birds on the bird-feeder. I long for days of not being asked to do anything, even fun things. It's such a complex longing because my feelings still get hurt when I'm not asked to do things! I do fantasize about how much simpler life would be if I lived in a cave. Sometimes I even talk aloud about living in a cave. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and friends. I even love my job and my co-workers. I love the studio and the other owners and the teachers and the students. And, sometimes I still long to live in a cave where there is no cell phone, no fax machine, no email and no one asking me for anything. This anything might include me helping someone with a task, it might entail me babysitting, it might mean going swimming, it might mean listening, hanging out, going on a shopping trip or having dinner. Now really, how completely selfish does it seem that I get invited to go shopping and it further pushes me to long for cave livin?

How do we change and simplify our lives and our calendars? What's gonna go? If you are a parent does it mean your child is not going to be in softball three nights a week during the summer? Does it mean you are going to give up the dance lessons, or the church group on wednesday nights. What if you have multiple kids. How's that gonna work? As an employee does it mean you are going to say no to your boss about staying late or to travel? Are you gonna stop going to yoga class three times a week? Will you give up your evening run? Will you tighten up the social circle and not see people you have sort-of been friends with for ten years? Will you say no to visiting your grandmother every sunday afternoon and calling your cousin from out of state once a week? How do we stop without a new zipcode to cave city? Isn't it all necessary?

How do we decide when to say no and what to say no to and who to say no to? How do we do this without harming? Without turning into a selfish, narcissistic monster? My friend's therapist once told her she needed to lower her expectations. Maybe that's the answer. Maybe we should just stop expecting periods of quiet, periods of time to sit on the porch and watch the birds determine which food to eat. Maybe, we should just keep a goin and keep a givin until we completely run out of gas. Then we can refuel and start going again. This option seems, sadly, more realistic than the other option. The other option is to change. The word makes me shudder.

One of Ramaswami's many pearls of wisdom seems to shed some light on this subject...”Yoga teaches us to do the opposite of what we do everyday.” Change is a comin, like it or not. I have spoken with lots of yogis about this exact same message. At David Swenson's teacher training a student raised her hand and said “how do people deal with the fact that the more you practice the more you don't necessarily want to spend time with your old friends?” I once had a friend say the liability waiver should have a warning on it that if you start down this path your life may really change. His life, his internal life had changed so much that it meant looking at a separation from his wife of many years.

Could all of this be as simple as learning to prioritize? Maybe we just need to read Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Hmmm. If we follow the path of yoga and we use the Sutra as a practice manual it might become clearer that not relying on our senses will allow us find the answers we have been seeking. If we are relying on our senses as we live this life, then we are drawn to making more and more money, buying more and more material objects (this of course does not include sexy shoes), becoming more and more successful in our careers, and working harder and harder for approval. Hmmm again. For what? Do we really need more money? More material objects (again shoes excluded), more success in our jobs and more approval? Are these things going to reduce the suffering we experience before this bag of bones is no longer suitable to support us?

Maybe, just maybe, our yoga practice allows us to see clearly that change could equal relief. Maybe the change won't be radical, but gentle and kind and compassionate. Maybe we are honest when we say no to invitations. Maybe we can schedule in time to sit on the porch and do nothing. Vince and I are discussing the idea of setting aside a weekend every four months that we call our “retreat.” A weekend without email, phones and jobs that need finished. Maybe we can use this time to remind ourselves that we aren't, at our core, the friend who is being asked to go shopping, the friend who needs to listen, the sister being asked to babysit, the daughter who wants to go to doctor's appointments with her mother, the studio owner who needs to update the website and buy some more water, the teacher who wants to study and improve her teaching skills, the homeowner who needs to vacuum, the wife who is being asked to help with lunch, the daughter in law being asked to hang curtains, the neighbor being responsible for keeping up the yard, the employee being asked to return emails and the citizen who wants to give back to the community. As we practice the steps in the sutra, we become more and more aware of the nature of the true self and then the laundry list of roles and the pulling in five thousand different direction no longer even matters.