Addicted to Achievement

I read the Underachiever’s Manifesto over the weekend and realized I am an addict. Addicted to achievement. I am so addicted to achievement I may need some sort of meeting. Do they have a 12 Step group for this? Really.

I am wondering how good of an underachiever I could be? Funny, but not really that funny.

This past fall someone mentioned to me that I’m human. Oh. Of course I am. I am not so narcissistic that I believe I’m perfect. But then I do that “exception thing” in my head. Does that sound like an addict or what? In my head it goes like this….”well, I am human, but I should be better, know better, do better, expect more from myself…”. When I am following the ridiculous line of thinking in my head I absolutely expect myself to be perfect. You can imagine the suffering that comes when I have a pimple and a bad hair day and I’m grumpy and I’m 4 minutes late to a meeting and I forgot to pick up Vince’s medicine and I haven’t talked to my Mom in a week and I realize I am still not perfect. This is exhausting.

The author of the Underachiever’s Manifesto suggests:

“The word perfect shouldn’t even be in the underachiever’s vocabulary. To seek perfection is to be cursed to find fault in the perfectly adequate, enjoyable, or even just plain good….it’s pursuit is the driving mania of the overachiever….frighteningly easy and almost inevitable to push things past good to the neurotically overworked, the belabored, and the endlessly second guessed. If something is worth doing at all, sometimes it’s worth doing it half-assed.”

Let’s just say that last line is not the motto I grew up with. The innocent message “do your best” translated in my mind as “be perfect.”

I am going to permanently erase the word perfect out of my vocabulary. I will do it perfectly. Really. I am going to take a yoga teaching sabbatical until August. I’m going to enjoy a calendar that is perfectly clear of a zillion activities. I’m going to be perfectly clear with boundaries. I’m going to underachieve. Really. The other way is making me nuts.

The author, Ray Bennett, suggests “If no one in your life thinks you’re failing to live up to your full potential, then you’ve got work to do.”

I hope the next time I see you, you will think I am not living up to my potential.

The Underachiever’s Manifesto
The guide to Accomplishing Little and Feeling Great
Ray Bennett, M.D.
Isbn-10 0-8118-5368-2