Turkey, Tofu & Brain Surgery

Thanksgiving is a time that I am able to view the juxtaposition of events in previous Novembers. Thanksgiving always brings to mind the crazy cooking adventures I have had around the holidays. For instance, shortly after Vince and I got married I made a “tofurkey” from scratch. Think mushy tofu molded into the shape of a giant turkey, put on a pan and cooked. Now imagine it somehow being so heavy once it was cooked that I had to have Vince take it out of the oven. Or, there was the first time Vince and I hosted Thanksgiving for my family, Vince’s family and some friends (I think the Tofurkey was involved). Minutes after the family arrived one of my relatives made a bee line for the stove and stuck a spoon into the pan on the back burner, took a giant gulp of what she thought was mulled cider. It was potpourri. Poison control had to be called and she felt yucky all day, but had nice cinnamony breath. Then there was the Thanksgiving where we made our first Turkey, no tofu. I didn’t realize there was a plastic baggy of who- knows-what in the middle and therefore didn’t remove it prior to cooking. Oh yeah, then there was the Thanksgiving we switched from turkey in the oven to turkey in the deep fryer. We sat down to eat and the first turkey was so yummy that we forgot there was a second turkey in the fryer. Let’s just say there was no second turkey. To think that poor bird gave up his life only to be charred in our back yard still brings me to tears. Oh yeah, then there was the Thanksgiving where I was trying to carve a Turkey with a very nice ceramic knife Vince had been given as a Christmas gift. Let’s just say that’s not a good idea. It shattered…in the turkey. Then there was the Monday after Thanksgiving four years ago today that ended with a frantic car ride to Chicago to be with my brother as he prepared to go in for emergency brain surgery.

Wow. Life is like this right? Full of contrasts. We go from one thing to the next thing to the next thing. We move from a crazy busy schedule to a coasting, we move from feeling resentful that we have family obligations to recognizing after a loved one passes that it was all a gift, from feeling sadness about a death to feeling the immense joy that someone lived a good life. It’s consistently inconsistent, which I suppose makes it consistent. If life wasn’t like this, we wouldn’t be alive. Life IS like this and any wishing or craving that it wasn’t just results in suffering. I need to have that tattooed on my palm. As Byron Katie says: wishing life wasn’t the way it is results in suffering and only always.

These contrasts are part of our life on and off our yoga mats. The word Hatha (of Hatha Yoga) is the joining of two words (Ha and Tha) meaning Sun & Moon. Our yoga practice can be seen as a vehicle which helps us remember life is made up of opposites…soft & hard, pull & push, effort & no effort. I was reminded of this last week when practicing Crow posture. Because there was a moment of not recognizing the opposite movements of lifting up and at the same time lowering down, I ended up landing on my head. Now there’s a contrast…practicing feeling great to landing on my head~ not feeling so great. The contrasts from tofurkey to brain surgery allow me to be thankful for both, the inedible tofu and the healthy baby brother.

I promise if you ever come over for Thanksgiving we will order out. It will allow for yet another contrast.
Ami

Thank you...I have no complaints

Thank you for everything. I have no complaints whatsoever is the mantra a Zen monk named Sono gave to all of her students in each and every situation. Holy Schmoly. Really? One of my not-always-so-fun-and-helpful strengths is that when I see situations I see things for what I believe they could be, or I think I see what could be better and then I act on that instinct. This very useful in lots of what I do and not so useful in lots of what I do. This would be a good time to refer back to anything I have ever written about expectations. Now that I write that, maybe I should go back and read everything I have ever written about expectations. This may be part of my life’s work.

Let’s just take a recent example when I was doing something I love…shopping.
I went into a small local boutique and on this particular Saturday afternoon there were no other customers. There was an adult woman and a tween behind the counter eating MdDonald’s fries. Not only did they not speak to me when I entered, but about ten minutes into my visit they had not yet acknowledged my presence ( I was trying things on) until… they told me that I needed to leave because they were closing (let’s be clear this would never happen at the Wardrobe, owned by yogi Kim Dixon). Seriously, I did leave with a complaint (that until now stayed in my head…except for the few friends I told…yikes) and just for the record I left without an expensive sweater.

I am so grateful that noone can actually see inside my head and then know how icky I sound (although likely I have outed my ickyness before now). I told one of my bosses last year that the inside of my head really sounds like Stewey the nasty, mean spirited baby (I know babies in real life can’t be nasty) on Family Guy.

It seems like a very challenging practice that might help steer me more towards gratitude rather than grumbling. What do I have to lose? I am going to pick a day…hmmm…let’s say tomorrow and I’m gonna give it a shot. The world could use one more grateful person.

Thank you for everything. I have no complaints whatsoever.

Yoga & Prairie Dogs

I recently heard on the radio that praire dogs stop two times a day, stand still with their hands in prayer position and face the sun. I wonder how it is that prairie dogs can remember to do that when sometimes I forget to stop and go to the bathroom.

I heard this praire dog story when Terry Tempest Williams, author of "Finding Beauty In a Broken World" was interviewned on National Public Radio. This praire dog story was part of the lead into an interview about the idea that we all need to find our place.

This title really hit home for me since I have been on the road alot and spending alot of quality time in hotels. We all need a place, right? Where is our place when we aren't at home, or when we don't feel like we fit in at work, at church, in our marriage or our circle of friends.


In this messy, sometimes seemingly broken world, it is easy to feel as though we don't know where we fit. This could mean we don't know if we fit in our jeans, but more than likely it is the feeling of not being sure where we fit among the people and places in our lives. Maybe this feeling arises as we leave a relationship, or when we are ready for retirement or recognizing it's time to move into a new job or new city. If we don't know where we fit, we can end up feeling like we don't have any solid ground under our feet.

When I don't feel like I know where I fit, the best thing I can do is hop, stumble, crawl, run or roll out of bed and onto my mat. It gives me the opportunity to sense the ground under my feet, the breath move through my belly and the recognition that where we all fit is~ everywhere. It can be the reminder that there really is no separation from wisdom, no separation from grace and there is no true separation from any other beings...whether that is the person with the bad attitude sitting across from you, or the prairie dog.

Here's to stopping twice a day, putting our hands in front of our hearts, setting the intention to remember we always have a place of beauty to visit & it's on the inside

The Road to Something Beautiful

I was talking with a yogi the other day who mentioned they were "thinking about starting a home practice."

I LOVE THESE WORDS!

I had the opporutnity to ask a few questions about where this might be coming from and what might be getting in the way of the mat moving out of the trunk and rollled onto the floor. The responses were all of the ones that most of use...I like to get up to read the paper and have a cup of coffee, I'm in a hurrry, the kids need to have breakfast, the dog needs walked, I don't want to give up my morning run, etc. Although that is what most of say is getting in the way of the mat gettting rolled out, I think often times there could be an underlying sense of discomfort about being alone in a room, standing at the front of our mat, with the sometimes loud voice in our head, the discomfort in our bodies and the sometimes funky feeling in our hearts. I would rather tell you it's just because I like to sleep in.

When I hear someone say "I'm thinking of starting a home practice" what I hear them say is "I'm really ready to start something beautiful." Getting on the mat alone, if we stick with it, will mean we have the opportunity for all roads to lead us home to ourselves. This road may not always feel so great, maybe because our back is sore and our hamstrings tight, or maybe because we need to nurture that part of ourselves that we have neglected. The neglected part might be we have kept so busy we haven't allowed ourselves to feel what we really feel. Those feelings might include grief, anger, desire, fear or maybe even love.

This road back to our true nature doesn't have to be long and full of suffering. It just needs to be traveled with awareness and patience. This road can be like a beautiful drive through the mountains. Imagine driving in the mountains when you aren't in a hurry , you safely maneuver through the highs and lows, you have the opportunity to take in the amazing views, breathe in the crisp, fresh air and arrive safely back at home.

This month maybe we could all take the journey towards home by spending ten minutes in a room alone, on our mats. We could start by standing at the front of our mat, feeling the energy move up our legs, taking a deep breath, moving into tree pose and then resting. Start the journey gently, five or ten minutes is just as beautiful as forty five minutes...if you are thinking of starting a home practice.



Here's to the journey

The Yoga Sutra says Bliss is in the Dumpster

Patanjali's Yoga Sutra were compiled approximately five thousand years ago. It is in these Sutra (sutra can be translated as threads...as in threads of wisdom) that Patanjali laid out 194 (or 196 depending on who you ask) aphorisms (or short bits of wisdom).

It is in these four chapters that Patanjali described the infamous eight limbs of yoga. These eight limbs of yoga are contained in chapters two and three. "It is in chapter two, entitled "Sadhana Pada" (can be translated as "Treading the Path)" that Patanjali gives us ways we can live our lives that will lead to awakening." (from mindful YOGA mindful LIFE by Charlotte Bell).

It could also be said that the eight limbs of yoga lay out a way for us to "tread the path" and reduce suffering, thus leading us to a happier life. It seems unimaginable that even now, the eight limbed path is relevant in our lives and, yet, it is. Just in case you haven't had an opportunity to dive into the Yoga Sutras, here is the layout of the eight limbs:

1. Yamas: ethics or as I see it, things not to do.
• ahimsa: non-violence
• satya: not lying (telling the truth)
• asteya: nonstealing
• brahmacharya: not misusing our sexual energy
• aparigraha: not being greedy

2. Niyamas: personal practices or as I see it, things to do.
•saucha: cleanliness
•santosha: contentement
•tapas: discipline
•svadyaya: study of self or spiritual texts
•Ishvarapranidhana: surrender to the presence of something bigger than us

3. Asana: physical practice of postures
4. Pranayama: extension of life force: breath practice
5. Pratyahara: sense withdrawal
6. Dharana: concentration
7. Dyhana: meditation
8. Samadhi: absorption into spirit

At the risk of sounding crazy, I think Patanjali might have been telling me we should rent a dumpster. I think he thought it would be one step on the path to less suffering and to more clarity about what's important and who I am. All of that from a dumpster? Extra amazing since he probably had never even heard of a dupster.

I had this realization about the connection between the dumpster and the Yoga Sutras as I was preparing to teach Monday night . I was working through how to teach the importance of how we keep our props (think blankets, blocks, mats, etc) and our practice space. I recognize some people make fun of how meticulous I am about keeping the blankets folded and the studio in order. I see the space we practice in, whether is at Ahh Yoga, at home or anywhere else, as sacred space. It is space where we are opening ourselves both physically and emotionally; and as I see it, it is space that ultimately represents the rest of our lives. It comes back to that motto "how you do anything is how you do everything."

So, as I try to tie most of the beginning classes to some piece of the Yoga Sutra, I realize this notion of cleanliness and orderliness is part of Patanjali's niyamas (the second of the eight limbs of Patanjali's Yoga). In fact, it is the first of the niyamas. It is called Saucha. Saucha is sometimes translated as purity and sometimes it is extended to cleanliness. For now, let's just go with the cleanliness concept.

Our garage needed a serious cleaning as did our basement. So, we rented a dumpster and filled it with all kinds of stuff that didn't need to be saved and didn't need passed on to someone else. For instance, I found my 1986 Arthur Marching Band Award, all of the notes given to me by my high school friends and high school boyfriend, framed certificates of achievements from undergraduate school, an empty coke bottle filled with glitter from my college dorm room, mardi gra beads (that I didn't earn) and the list goes on and on and on.

I knew that all of that clutter in the basement and garage was weighing on me, but I didn't know how much until they pulled the full dumpster out of our driveway. It seems accurate to me that when my environment is less cluttered, is clean and organized, my mind is more settled and clearer. When my mind is clearer and more settled, I am able to see more clearly who I am and see more clearly what is important. Who knew that filling that dumpster to the brim was going to remind me that what we all are at our core is perfect, beautiful, blissful love, and what is most important is that we live from that space, both in our hearts, in our basements, and garages.

Unconditioning

Back to school is such an exciting time of year. Even though I no longer go school supply shopping and wait anxiously to find out who my homeroom teacher is going to be, come mid august there is always that sense something exciting is about to happen. Typically at the beginning of August, I try to clean out my desk, straighten up the bookshelves, buy a new calendar and set all kinds of irrational and unachievable goals. One year I set the goal that I was going to get up early enough every work day to have hot tea, write in my journal and read inspirational stuff before I got ready for work. If you are ever interested, I can show you the two pages I filled in that journal.

So, this year, I started out cleaning the desk and bookshelves. As I was going through a stack of papers (that should have been filed six months ago), I found a little blue sticky note that said "yoga is about un-conditioning." Yoga is about doing things differently, how perfect for the beginning of August.


Since I found the note, I have realized this is an accurate reflection of my personal practice. When I am on the yoga mat and practicing Sun Salutations A&B and am moving into Plank pose, I almost always step back with my left foot. I almost always pause and do a little self talk before I attempt to practice five boat poses (goes like this...come on, just do it, what are you waiting for, stalling isn't going to help...). I tend to skip inversions I have aversions to and I almost always have to remind myself that it isn't necessary to beat myself up when I have a day or two off the mat. The same is true in my life off the mat. I am conditioned to lean forward when I type at my desk, I always hold the phone with my left hand, about 3:00 pm I begin craving a coke, if I am feeeling stressed I am distracted and am more likely to multi-task and I can predict that if I am anxious and simultaneously distracted I am going to begin to go into grasping and controlling mode. It's all conditioning.


If we start to move back with a different foot, hold the phone with a different hand, have a hot tea instead of a coke, move right into the inversion we avoid and back off rather than attempt to control we are going to have to be present. These types of changes, little tiny changes (btw, they don't feel little to me~especially the Coca Cola) are going to require us to WAKE UP, to PAY ATTENTION, to SNAP out of our very enticing reverie, move off our AUTOPILOT way of living and engage in the moment. Practicing this can be done right on your yoga sticky mat. You can pay attention to any habits you may have fallen into, whether that's how you hold your tongue in your mouth, how you flip your hair after a forward bend, how you watch the teacher instead of your drishti, how you continue to increase the crease between your eyebrows or how you allow yourself to go on a rampage of self loathing inside your head. These types of changes on the mat will surely begin to afford us the opportunity to brave the world off our mat in a completely unconditioned way. Who knows, maybe we can all wake up long enough to realize we might have been missing our life, our very beautiful, poignant and temporary life.

Yoga and the Bucket

Yesterday I found myself in that not-so cool position of presenting information on a book I have not read. It was actually just a few points from a book I hadn't read. Anyway, I did what I did in high school. I read the web version of cliff notes. The title of the book is "How Full is Your Bucket." The jist of this book is that in every interaction we have we are either putting good stuff in other people's buckets or we are scooping stuff out of their bucket. In addition, when we put stuff in other people's buckets, our bucket gets fuller & the fuller our bucket, the better we feel. Seems reasonable enough to me, seems like we all want a full bucket.

The concept of this book reminded me of my yoga bucket. I feel happier and am more likely to get on the mat if I remember there are lots of different ways to practice. The practice can be tailored to my life.

I was in the Monday afternoon Ashtanga class and it occured to me that the practice was feeling fantastic because of the structure the ashtanga primary series offers. When you practice Ashtanga, you never need to wonder what comes next, because the sequence of poses is always the same. At that moment in my life,I was needing structure on and off my mat.

I was in Yin class, and it occured to me that the practice was feeling fantastic because I had no idea what was coming next, my body was trying new things and I
found a strength I didn't know I had. That day, I realized I needed to be more present and not spend so much time in the imagined future.

I was in vinyasa flow class and remembered I love practicing to music and I loved how the changing sequence of familiar poses was refreshing. On that day, I was
needing to remember that when life starts to feel a little lackluster, I can take what I allready know and just change it up a bit.

I was feeling crazy stressed and practiced three part breathing while in the car. At that moment, I needed the opportunity to allow my breath to drop down into my belly and assist in taking my nervous system off high alert.

I had time on Saturday afternoon to get in a long slow practice. On that day, I was desperately needing time without other people, I needed to move slowly
and allow space for devotion to some presence larger than myself.

This morning I had a short practice in my hotel room with the sun shining in my third floor window. I had very little time, but wanted the opportunity to take care of my body before sitting in a day long meeting.

As I reflect on this, I have a variety of yoga tools to use in my daily life. Yoga has the potential to help us fill our own buckets and in turn, have the
energy to fill other people's buckets.