Unconditioning

Back to school is such an exciting time of year. Even though I no longer go school supply shopping and wait anxiously to find out who my homeroom teacher is going to be, come mid august there is always that sense something exciting is about to happen. Typically at the beginning of August, I try to clean out my desk, straighten up the bookshelves, buy a new calendar and set all kinds of irrational and unachievable goals. One year I set the goal that I was going to get up early enough every work day to have hot tea, write in my journal and read inspirational stuff before I got ready for work. If you are ever interested, I can show you the two pages I filled in that journal.

So, this year, I started out cleaning the desk and bookshelves. As I was going through a stack of papers (that should have been filed six months ago), I found a little blue sticky note that said "yoga is about un-conditioning." Yoga is about doing things differently, how perfect for the beginning of August.


Since I found the note, I have realized this is an accurate reflection of my personal practice. When I am on the yoga mat and practicing Sun Salutations A&B and am moving into Plank pose, I almost always step back with my left foot. I almost always pause and do a little self talk before I attempt to practice five boat poses (goes like this...come on, just do it, what are you waiting for, stalling isn't going to help...). I tend to skip inversions I have aversions to and I almost always have to remind myself that it isn't necessary to beat myself up when I have a day or two off the mat. The same is true in my life off the mat. I am conditioned to lean forward when I type at my desk, I always hold the phone with my left hand, about 3:00 pm I begin craving a coke, if I am feeeling stressed I am distracted and am more likely to multi-task and I can predict that if I am anxious and simultaneously distracted I am going to begin to go into grasping and controlling mode. It's all conditioning.


If we start to move back with a different foot, hold the phone with a different hand, have a hot tea instead of a coke, move right into the inversion we avoid and back off rather than attempt to control we are going to have to be present. These types of changes, little tiny changes (btw, they don't feel little to me~especially the Coca Cola) are going to require us to WAKE UP, to PAY ATTENTION, to SNAP out of our very enticing reverie, move off our AUTOPILOT way of living and engage in the moment. Practicing this can be done right on your yoga sticky mat. You can pay attention to any habits you may have fallen into, whether that's how you hold your tongue in your mouth, how you flip your hair after a forward bend, how you watch the teacher instead of your drishti, how you continue to increase the crease between your eyebrows or how you allow yourself to go on a rampage of self loathing inside your head. These types of changes on the mat will surely begin to afford us the opportunity to brave the world off our mat in a completely unconditioned way. Who knows, maybe we can all wake up long enough to realize we might have been missing our life, our very beautiful, poignant and temporary life.